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When the doors slid open, I breathed a sigh of relief as I stepped into the empty carriage. I pressed for my floor, and as the doors closed, I turned to look into the glasswall.
“Fuck,” I said,aloud.
I had dark circles under my eyes from mascara that had run. My hair was a tangled mess, my lips slightly swollen. In my haste to dress, I hadn’t done the buttons of my shirt up correctly. I ran my fingers through my hair, wet the tips of my forefingers and dragged them under myeyes.
The lift doors slid silently open on my floor, and I hesitated before stepping out. I listened for any noise. When I was confident I was on my own, I made that walk of shame to myroom.
I opened the door, stepped in and closed it. The adrenalin I’d been running on left, and I slumped against thedoor.
“Good Lord, what the fuck did I do?” Isaid.
I wanted to giggle; I wanted to cry. I’d had sex with a stranger, someone I’d met in a bar at a work conference. How fucking cliché wasthat?
I held my hand over my mouth to stifle the giggle/cry.
When I felt the strength return slightly to my legs, I walked into the bathroom. I stripped and turned on the shower. I could smell myself; I could smell sex. I stepped into the shower cubical and just stood under the jets ofwater.
“Oh my fucking God,” Isaid.
I wasn’t sure whether I should be shocked or applaud myself. Whoever he was, I’d had the best night of sex ever. Scott could never, in a million years, have produced that many orgasms, that intensity, or kept it up for as long as he had. Then I remembered his words, ‘that was a warmup!’
“Oh no,” I said. I cringed as I remembered that I’d fallen asleep onhim.
I scrubbed myself clean, washed my hair, and wrapped one towel around my body and one around my head. I made myself a cup of tea and crawled under the bedcovers. I sat and drank, and I thought. Just the act of thinking about the night, of thinking about him, had my clitoristhrobbing.
A wave of sadness washed over me. I brushed away the thought that I’d never see him again from my mind. He hadn’t wanted me to know who he was. That in itself meant the evening was just what I’d told him I’d wanted: one night of sex with a stranger. He’d fulfilled a fantasy, one that hadn’t been in the forefront of my mind initially, but had proven to be quite exciting and so totally out of character. I sipped my tea until eventually I did giggle, and then laughed out loud. I wouldn’t feel any shame; I was a single woman, who did what tons of single women did. I had an amazingnight.
4
Iwas dressed,hair styled and makeup on, when room service brought breakfast to my room a couple of hours later. Was I hiding? Probably. The thought that I might bump into him at breakfast had crossed my mind. I wanted to save him, and me, thatembarrassment.
I sipped my coffee, ate my pastries then collected all I needed for the conference. I opted for the stairs, again, not wishing to bump into him while travelling down from his floor in the lift. I scuttled across the foyer and into the back of a waiting taxi. I breathed a sigh of relief as we pulledaway.
In one way, I wished I’d left him a note, to thank him for the smile that I could not keep off my face. I was ready to fight the world that morning. I had a secret and knowing that, was a powerfulthing.
“You look very happy,” Jenny said, as she met me at the conferencecentre.
“I’m a morning person,” Ireplied.
“Urgh, anyway, I got you a coffee,” she said, as she handed me a takeout container fromStarbucks.
“Thank you. Right, let’s getstarted.”
We unboxed the brochures we’d had delivered and placed one on each seat. I connected my laptop to the lectern and ran through the presentation Jerry was to deliver. I checked that the microphone worked and I could be heard, speaking at normal levels, all the way at the back. Jenny had given me a thumbs up as confirmation. I made sure to tape down any loose wires and charger leads I could find, I didn’t want Jerry fallingover.
“I’m going to head to the hotel. I need to check with the event manager, there were a couple of changes to be made to the seating plan. You stay here and greet everyone. I’ll be back as soon as Ican.”
She smiled and nodded. She placed her hand on my arm and squeezed. She’d seen right through me. “I’ll keep a place, just there, front row, closest to the door, foryou.”
I didn’t want to be there when Scott arrived. I’d do my utmost to avoidhim.
“Thankyou.”
I grabbed my handbag and left the conference centre. I didn’t hail a taxi; instead I walked to the nearest coffee bar and queued for a fresh drink. I took out my phone and sent a text to Jerry, letting him know we were ready to go. I stood in the coffee shop, near the door, sipping from the cardboard cup and watched to see if any of my colleagues came in. Thankfully, no one did and when I thought it was time, I quickly headedback.
Jenny was standing by the auditorium door. “I was about to call you,” shesaid.
“Got held up,sorry.”
