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Jesus, Lauren. I just… I don’t know what to say.Hereplied.
Don’t say anything. Just let me be. I’m saying no, just fortoday.
He didn’t reply again. I made tea, as if that would cure me, and carried it to the bedroom. I climbed under the duvet and drank. Despite my bath, it took a while before my body stopped shivering. I sank down into the pillows andslept.
10
Isleptthrough the day and most of the way through the night. When I woke, my body ached. I climbed from the bed and took a shower, scrubbing my skin until it was red andsore.
I didn’t want to go into work, but we had a meeting scheduled at eleven. Jerry was making an announcement, and I believed it to be his decision to sell out. I’d resign immediately, regardless of whether Jerry sold his remaining shares ornot.
I decided to see if I could find a sexual health clinic locally. I needed the morning after pill, although it was technically the morning after the morning. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if they told me it was too late. I waited until eight o’clock and made a couple of phone calls. I then texted Jerry to tell him I had a doctor’s appointment but would be there for themeeting.
Are you ill?He’dasked.
Girl stuff.From experience those two words tended to end any furtherquestioning.
I also texted Jenny to let her know I’d belate.
* * *
Itooka taxi to the clinic, not being familiar with the address. I was thankful that there wasn’t a neon sign flashing ‘sluts welcome.’I mentally slapped myself for that thought. I had to take a ticket and wait for my number to be called. I sat beside a gum-chewing girl, wearing grubby clothes and with filthynails.
“What you here for?” she asked, blowing a bubble once she’dspoken.
“Same as you, probably,” Ireplied.
She laughed, hacking up her lungs at the sametime.
She looked me up and down, and I wasn’t sure she was admiring my suit. “I doubt that,love.”
I wanted to shuffle up a couple of seats but was too scared to offend her if I did. I read the signs on the walls, terrifying myself further by learning of all the diseases I could havecaught.
When it was my turn, I rushed through the doors to an examinationroom.
“Hi, take a seat,” the nurse said. “Right, let’s get some details fromyou.”
She wanted the usual, name, address, date of birth, known illnesses and doctor’s details. She then asked me what I was attendingfor.
I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and knew tears had welled in my eyes. She placed her hand on myarm.
“You can tell me, there isn’t anything I haven’t already heard,” shesaid.
“I, err, I need the morning after pill, except the unprotected sex was Saturday night, or it could have been early hours on Sunday morning, I’m notsure.”
“You’re not sure? Can you explain that?” I saw concern flash over herface.
“Oh, it was consensual, don’t worry, it just…it just went on over a period oftime.”
“Okay, so we can offer you Levonelle, it’s effective up to seventy-two hours after unprotected sex. I need to warn you of some side effects. You may experience headaches, queasiness, dizziness, experience tender breasts, or abdominal pain. If you vomit, you have to return for anotherdose.”
I nodded as she handed me a tablet and a small plastic cup of water. I was expecting a prescription. “Now, birth control?” shesaid.
“I don’t need to worry about that, this was a one off, trust me. I won’tbe…”
She handed me a tissue as the tears fell. “I’d still like you to consider some form of birth control. Just take this leaflet and have a readthrough.”
“There’s something else. I don’t know how to say this.” I took a deep breath. “There was another person involved, I think she may have been an escort. I’m worried about beingclean.” I’d blurted the sentenceout.
