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“That’s not the gated community, that’s further up,” the driversaid.
“No, that’s it.” I opened my purse and took out somenotes.
“You want me to wait? What if no one’sin?”
He had a good point. “If youcan.”
I climbed from the taxi and walked to the intercom. I pressed the call button and held my breath. At first there was no answer, but as I was about to walk back to the taxi, I heard hisvoice.
“Hello?”
“It’s Lauren,” Isaid.
He didn’t reply but a few seconds later the gates started to swing open. I raised my hand to the driver, who pulled away. My heart beat frantically in my chest as I walked up the drive, more so when I saw him standing at the open front door. His brown hair was tousled; his white shirt was crumpled, as if he had just climbed frombed.
“Hi,” I said, as I walked up the steps to the frontdoor.
He took a step aside and allowed me in. He didn’t speak as he led the way to thekitchen.
“Coffee?” heasked.
“That would benice.”
He gestured with his hand to a stool at the breakfast bar, and I watched as he ran the other through hishair.
“I was sleeping, sorry,” hesaid.
“I should have called first, I can always come back anothertime.”
“You’re here now, no point leaving just to comeback.”
At first I couldn’t put my finger on his tone of voice. It was only when he turned to me that I saw sadness in his face. I wouldn’t presume that was because of me though. He placed the two small cups on the bar and sat on the stool next to me. He stared and I took a deepbreath.
“I thought I was mature enough to play the game with you. I guess I’m not. I understand now. I’ve led quite a sheltered life. What Iwant,as opposed to what I’m capable of dealing with, appears to be two very differentthings.”
At first he didn’t speak. I distracted myself from his stare by raising my cup to mylips.
“Bullshit,” he said,quietly.
“Bullshit?” I stood from my stool. “You blew my fucking mind, Mackenzie. I loved every second of that weekend, and then I got disgusted with myself for doing so. I got scared, I was confused.” My voice rose in frustration. “I felt on such a high, and then I crashed, my whole body fucking crashed. I did things so out of my comfort zone, so fucking far out of the stratosphere for me; I can’t comprehend how or why, I did it. For a while I didn’t recognise myself, do you have any idea how much of a mind fuck thatis?”
“And now we have the truth. Sit your fucking ass back down and listen tome.”
I stoodstill.
“I said, sit down.” His voice was low, controlled. Isat.
“You asked me not to let you fall. I told you that you would, but not in the way you thought. You did not give me the opportunity to stand you back up, you ran instead. You proved your lack of trust inme.”
“I…” I hadn’t thought of it thatway.
“You did a beautiful thing. Not for me, not for her, but for yourself. Didn’t you prove to yourself how courageous you are? Didn’t you prove to yourself how sensual and sexy, you are? She wanted you; I wanted you. You made her come; you made me come. You, Lauren,you.”
I didn’t respond, Icouldn’t.
“There was nothing disgusting about what we did; we were three consenting adults. And before you say you didn’t know it was coming, you could have said no. You didn’t. You were supposed to experience the high; you were supposed to crash after. I was there to fucking catch you.” His voice had risen. “I was there to kiss away the tears I knew would follow. But you didn’t allow that. Yes, you are immature, Lauren. You have led a sheltered life. But you have a choice. Grow up and live life, or stay exactly where you are.” He finished in a more gentletone.
“So you did something that you expected me to cryover?”
