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I took a shower and dressed, walking around the empty apartment with only the noise of my feet on wooden floors for company. For the first time, I didn’t want to bethere.
I sat with a cup of tea and pulled my divorce papers from my briefcase. It was time to finalise everything. I wanted Scott out of my life and before he realised he was going to lose his job. I signed the division of assets; he could have his half, deservedly or not. I would send the documents off first thing the following morning, and instruct the solicitor to proceed as quickly aspossible.
I then had to make a decision aboutMackenzie.
I read through the text messages we’d exchanged. I still wanted to experience what I’d asked for but maybe that should be last one. I just wanted one more night with him and then I’d walk away. I’d give up thegame.
I didn’t think, for one minute, Mackenzie was capable of any kind of relationship. He had neither the time nor had he shown any inclination that was what he wanted. I got it though; I understood what he was doing. The game was a way of empowering me, of allowing me to prove to myself that I was worthy, I was interesting, I was sensual, sexual, whatever words I wanted touse.
In one way he’d achieved what he’d set out to do. But in doing so, he’d forced me to take a hard look at my life and the changes I needed to make. I wasn’t convinced I’d find another man likehim.
I needed to get out of the apartment; it felt claustrophobic. I picked up my phone anddialled.
“Hey,” Jerry said when he’danswered.
“Hi, what are you doing today?” Iasked.
“I was going into work, why? Want to dosomething?”
“I do. I can’t sit here allday.”
“Okay, how about I pick you up in anhour?”
“Sounds great, thankyou.”
“See youthen.”
Was that fair? I knew how Jerry felt, but he was my friend, my only friend. I needed company thatday.
I put on some makeup while I waited, brushed and tied my hair in a high ponytail, and hunted the apartment for cleansocks.
I was downstairs and waiting in the car park when Jerry’s car pulled in. I opened the rear door and slid in beside him. He smiled as he leaned forwards to give me ahug.
“Lonely, huh?” hesaid.
“No, I wanted to spend some time with my friend,” Ilied.
“Lonely or not, I’ll take whatever,” he said, then sat back with alaugh.
We pulled out into thetraffic.
“So what shall we do?” Iasked.
“I fancy a nice lunch, then a walksomewhere.”
“Okay,where?”
“Me and Mackenzie went to a nice pub the other day, not far from where helives.”
My stomach clenched at Mackenzie’s name. Jerry leaned forwards and asked Steve, his driver, to take him to the place he’d been. Thankfully, Steve knew where togo.
“I’m sure there are some nicer places closer,” Isaid.
“Probably are but you’ll like it, it’s a gastro pub. And how do you know he doesn’t live just around thecorner?”
He turned to me andsmirked.
“I just assumed he didn’t live in Canary Wharf,” I replied, hoping my cheeks hadn’t flamed. “So, made any plans for yourretirement?”
