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“We’ll hunt them down together,” Marilyn said. She helped Patty pack her things and after a final okay from the nurse, we walked from the ward.
Patty didn’t speak much until we were outside. “Does anyone have a cigarette?” she asked, knowing I didn’t smoke.
Marilyn shook one from a packet and I couldn’t help but notice how much Patty’s hand shook when she held the thing to her lips, accepting a light. Marilyn’s hands shook just as much.
Patty took a long drag and exhaled slowly. She turned to me. “Will you come and visit us?”
“Of course I will. We’ll take a nice stroll along the beach, maybe grab a pint in the pub, or something,” I replied. I meant every word.
Patty just nodded and then Marilyn informed us the taxi was waiting. There were no hugged goodbyes, just a nod. I felt tears brim in my eyes as I watched my friend leave and wondered if that would be the last time I’d see her. Would I really travel to Norfolk to have that stroll, that pint? I wasn’t sure.
I took a slow walk home.
CHAPTERFIVE
I heardfrom Patty just once the following week. She called me and it was a stilted and difficult conversation. I don’t know what had changed, but there wasn’t the natural flow we usually had. I tried to tell her about Andrew and our dates, but she wasn’t interested, and I understood that. It had to be hard to hear of someone else’s happiness when so consumed by sadness. I just didn’t know what to say to her.
“I felt awkward,” I told Andrew that evening. He was sitting at the small table in my flat and I was cooking him dinner.
“Did you tell her about us?” he asked.
“I did. She wasn’t very interested. I get it, though.”
“Well, you’ve always been in her shadow, Amber, so she probably doesn’t like it now you’re branching out on your own,” he replied.
I nodded absently while stirring the gravy. I’d made us a roasted chicken, about the one thing I did well. Of course, Andrew was used to more upmarket cooking, he told me, but he was looking forward to my roast. He’d brought a bottle of wine, one he loved and proceeded to tell me about. I was impressed with his knowledge of wines, and he made a comment that perhaps we’d travel to France to taste some wines one day.
The thought of travelling through the French countryside with wine tasting was certainly appealing.
I dished up our meal and sat opposite him. Andrew smiled at me. “I do think that you’ve bloomed, Amber, and maybe Patty doesn’t like that.”
I shrugged my shoulders. He might have a point. She hadn’t wanted to know anything about him. “Like I said before, and I know this is hard, my darling, but talking to you might remind her of what happened here.”
I nodded. “I wondered that, as well. Maybe I’ll have a word with Marilyn and see what she says.”
“I’d leave it for a little while before you do that. It might have been a one off where Patty was concerned, and you don’t want to alarm her mum. Perhaps leave it for a while and see what happens.”
Andrew was full of wise advice, I thought. He patted my hand and tucked into his meal.
“Mmm, this is delicious. I don’t think I’ve had roast chicken as lovely as this,” he said, and my heart swelled.
I knew I wasn’t as sophisticated as him, I wasn’t as worldly, so when he complimented me or something I’d done, I was thrilled.
When we’d eaten, we snuggled up on the sofa with just a couple of standard lamps giving a warm glow over the room.
“I’d like to take our relationship a little further,” he said, nuzzling into my neck.
“So would I. I’ve never done anything before, though.”
He pulled back and looked at me. “I’m glad to hear that, Amber. There is something unsavoury about women who have had multiple partners.”
It was the ‘old fashioned’ Andrew that I loved the most. He was obsessed with my safety, wanting to know where I was going and insisting that I called him when I was home each evening. I felt cherished and wanted.
At no time did I think there was anything wrong in his behaviour.
I lost my virginity to him that evening. I can’t say it was the special moment I was hoping for. I wasn’t left feeling elated and fulfilled in any way, but, as Andrew had said, the first time isn’t always the best. It was aboutbreaking me in. Maybe next time might be better.
Andrew didn’t stay over as I was hoping. He had an early start, he said.
