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“Nope.” He nuzzled her neck. “Don’t get me wrong, I do love getting away from it all now and then. Finding a secluded beach to lounge on, my toes dug into the sand and a bucket of ice-cold brews nearby. But you can go to the beach anytime; Christmas happens only once a year. And to be honest? The past couple have felt kinda meh.”
Mia rested her head on his shoulder. She could relate. Even with her large and lively family, flying solo was still taking some getting used to.
“Well, if you’re feeling that way this year, there’s always plenty of room around the Brooks’ family dinner tables for one more. Or do you already have plans with your folks?”
She could tell by the deep exhale, it wasn’t an easy answer.
“Do I have plans? No. Did my father already start making plans, and is he pressuring me into joining them? Yes.” Alex shook his head. “I mean, we stopped exchanging gifts at Christmas about the time I was finishing elementary school. After that, a vacation to somewhere warm or exotic was the family gift. Not that I minded—we made a lot of great memories on those trips. But now…”
She shifted to face him. “But now?”
“Now, I’d rather make great memories in Indiana, regardless the temperature outside.”
Mia’s heart swelled at his confession, but guilt pricked her at the same moment. The more time he spent with her over the holidays, the less he would be with his parents. And they were getting older. As someone who would give just about anything to have even one more minute with her mother, she knew the importance of staying close and connected.
“Or maybe Brooklyn and I will sneak into your suitcases so we can enjoy some of this amazing beach time, too.”
Surprise lit his features. “Would you two like to join us? My parents would be thrilled to have you ladies accompany us.”
Travel? With his parents, whom she’d never met? Warning alarms went off in the back of her mind.
“Oh, gosh, I didn’t mean to self-invite, Alex. I was just being silly.”
“Oh.” His smile dimmed. “Well, if you change your mind, I can always bring along an extra-tall suitcase.”
It may not have been the right time, but there was something about the expression on his face that reminded her of something. Another place and time. Yes, she’d seen that look before.
“Hey, Alex, can I ask you something?”
He took a drink from his mug. “Sure, what’s that?”
“Why did you get so upset with me back in college?”
A small grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I wondered how long it would take for that to come up. You held out longer than I’d expected.”
“Well, I almost asked you at the bookstore, but that darned smile of yours has a tendency to sufficiently scatter my thoughts.”
“Really. Will it work if I do it now?”
She closed her eyes. “Nope.”
Alex chuckled, the sound one of her favorites lately. He pulled her in closer, and she almost asked if he was trying to keep her from running. Which was silly—she wasn’t going anywhere. The Alex of the past had matured a lot since the one she’d known back then.
“Well, what I told you back at the bookstore was true—I had been wrestling with something and hadn’t handled it the best around you. What I left out was that the issues I’d been wrestling with had to do with you.”
“With me? But hadn’t your grandmother just passed or something?”
He nodded. “You’ve got a good memory. She did, right before spring break. And that entire week full of family gatherings and viewings and then the funeral and burial, all I could think about was how I wished you were there. ‘Mia would know how to cheer me up.’ ‘Mia would know how to make the hurting stop.’ ‘Mia would understand what I’m going through.’”
She squeezed the hand he had wrapped around her. Had she known about his grandmother’s passing, she would have found a way to be there for him. Losing someone you loved was heart-wrenching, but to feel alone in the midst of it? She couldn’t even imagine.
“Once the family had gone and it was just only-child me again, I realized I didn’t want to be alone anymore. So I got back on campus early, intending to finally work up the nerve to ask you out. Sure, I’d heard you and Greg were going steady, but I decided it didn’t matter—I wanted you for myself. Only, when I came by your dorm to see you, it was just Robyn there; you were down the hall catching up with another friend. Before I could tell her my plans, she said, ‘You aren’t going to believe this—Greg told me he’s going to propose to Mia this summer. He’s already got the ring and everything. Isn’t that crazy?’”
Mia hung her head. Poor Alex. She’d had no idea he’d felt that way.
“I hadn’t known what to say,” he continued. “So I agreed with her and trudged back to my apartment. And though I wanted a chance to be with you more than anything, I couldn’t bring myself to break you and Greg up. I refused to be that selfish. I accepted defeat and told myself that it would be okay eventually—I’d just have to avoid you for a while. Give my heart time to heal and reset.”
“But when you tried keeping your distance that next day after class, I followed.” She groaned. “You kept trying to tell me you were fine, but I didn’t get the hint.”
