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I nodded.
“Say it, Nee. I want to know you get it.”
“I understand.”
“Come on, let’s eat.”
“Look, while I want to stay and talk all night, it’s late, you’re tired and I have a really early morning tomorrow and then a massive gig tomorrow night, so I should probably head back to the hotel.”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead before moving toward the front door. “Arch, what about you?” Stopping, he glanced back over his shoulder, waiting for me to continue. His beauty took my breath away.
“The letter said you’d sworn never to come back to Miami and I should check you’re okay. Are you?”
He paused, his hand braced on the door frame as his head dropped. “I’m good. You don’t need to worry about me.”
I wanted to believe him, to let it slide, but I could feel the emotion as clearly as my own heartbeat.
“Arch…”
“I’ve been better. Last time I was here… before we ever met… I got hurt. I thought I wanted to be dominated. We asked the hotel to bring some women in. They took our money and hired me a hooker who beat me until I passed out. There was a huge fall out afterward and people got really hurt because of me. I think you ran here because I swore I would never come back… too many painful memories, but when our manager asked, I figured I was hurting so much over losing you and that was worse than any physical pain I’d ever felt.”
I panicked. “Is that what we had? Did I physically hurt you because I don’t think I can do that?”
Archer turned, beckoning me closer with his finger. When he could reach me, he wrapped his hands around my hips, lowering his forehead to the center of my chest. “You never hurt me, Nee. Not like that. Not ever.”
“And your mum… my memory. How are you doing with that?” I couldn’t help running my fingers through his hair as his fingers dug into my flesh.
“I thought I’d break when you first told me, but it’s different to what happened with Mum. Yes, she lost her memories, but it was so much more. I lost her. Her personality, her ability to be my mum, her smile, her laugh. You have lost so much and I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through, but honestly, you still feel like you. I could never say that about Mum.”
My fingers stopped moving, but I liked how they felt buried in his thick hair, connected with his scalp; intimate in a way I couldn’t explain.
“I’m not sure I’m very much like the woman you remember. The person who wrote in that notebook seemed so full of life. Brave, confident, strong. I don’t think I’m any of those things anymore.” It felt nice to admit how I was feeling. “I feel so unsure about everything. I’m constantly second guessing myself. I’m afraid of the future and whether I can find a place where I belong.”
Archer lifted his head, and my hands slipped to my sides. His slate eyes scanned mine until I squirmed from the attention. “You’ve been on your own for months. The hospital, moving here, starting a job, going through everything all on your own. You’ve had to protect yourself and fight to recover. All while having zero memories of your past life. Like I said, you’re a warrior, but it will take time for you to feel like that’s true. The good news is, you’re not on your own anymore, Nee. Whether you want to be with me or not, I want to be your friend. I want you to know you have someone to fight right alongside you.”
The corner of my mouth curled upward. “Thank you.”
“Right, I’m going to go because walking away from you is feeling harder by the second and I don’t want to come on too strong. But do you want to come, watch us play tomorrow night?”
“I can’t,” I admitted. “Too loud and there’s a risk of seizures for the first six months. All those flashing lights…”
“Of course. The only problem is, I might not get a chance to see you again before we leave for Florida.”
“Oh… right. Busy, famous rock star. That’s still a bit of a shock.”
He chuckled.
“Jet setting around must be nice.”
“We’re on a tour bus. It’s hell. Can I call you while I’m away?”
“I’d like that.”
Handing me his unlocked phone, I typed my new number in before he instantly rang it. “Now I know it’s real and you have my number, too.”
“And when you get back?”
“I’ll be here, knocking on your door to take you on a date.”
