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Then Frankie and the twins took their turns, thanking their partners, their kids and each other. At the end, Mav took the mic again. We have two very special people to thank for getting us here today—Ethan, for saving us from our last label, which in turn set us free, and Addison Stone, who made us what we are today. Our Ice Queen, my wife, this award is really for you, because you’ve been with us since the beginning, helped us become the band we wanted to be, loved us, even when we were unloveable, and built a label that helps us carry on doing what we’re passionate about with bands like Alchemy Myth. So, before we go sing you all a song or two, I would like you all to raise a toast. To Addi.
As Addi’s face turned beet-red and she muttered something about killing them all under her breath, the entire room, including me, stood and raised a glass to her, while her eyes stayed fixed on the Gods, the love between them beating hard for us all to see. They only broke their moment when one of my staff walked on stage to move the podium and take the award from Mav and crew ran on with their instruments and microphones. Even Frankie’s pre-assembled drum kit was wheeled on her own mini stage. I was rather proud of that idea when I saw her sit there and pick up her sticks.
I watched until virtually the end of their set. “I need to go. I’ll see you at the party,” I whispered to Addi before slipping off into the shadows, trying not to acknowledge the feeling in the pit of my stomach.Jealousy. The connection the Gods had with their partners and each other was something I craved and thought I’d found. But last night proved that this poly relationship wasn’t working, because I felt more alone than ever.
Dawson
I’dsatatatable with Alchemy Myth all night, making small talk and trying to be professional, which was hard because Lea refused to talk to me, Fox hated me and Marshall was working, so was nowhere to be seen.
I watched as my band took the stage, Fox looking like some sexy, suit wearing Viking, which set my emotions on edge. I hated not being able to kiss him or hold his hand, and I didn’t realize how much I’d come to rely on his touch to regulate my emotions. Then Lea came and sat at the table next to ours, never once looking my way.
I wasn’t sure if she was ignoring me on purpose or if she just didn’t notice me and I think the second reason hurt the most. I wanted that sort of connection with someone where they could feel me before they saw me and, for a while, I thought that was what I had with her… and with Fox, but obviously it wasn’t that special to them.Iwasn’t special to them.
Heat hit me; my suit jacket suffocating me. I fucking hated wearing more than one layer of clothing, and I wished I could have explained that to Lea when she picked it for me. Everything felt too loud, too unfamiliar. Usually, I would have turned to Addi and, more recently, my cursed trio, even though two of them had no clue what I was doing or why. But right now, I was on my own.
I pushed up from my seat, Addi offering me a concerned look, but I didn’t want to steal this moment from her, so I shook my head and tried to smile, although I probably resembled a serial killer.
The room felt bigger and each step I took seemed to take me no closer to the exit. The walls rose up around me, making me feel like a mouse trapped in a maze. My chest tightened and my heart raced while sweat rolled down my back. I felt like I was deep underwater, with no air in my lungs. Panic, like I’d never experienced before, consumed me and it dawned on me that I was about to fall apart in front of cameras that were broadcasting around the world.
A lifeline wrapped around my wrist, gentle, reassuring, safe.Marshall.His large hand touched me like I was made of glass. My vision blurred, the white and pink of the light installations dancing around me as he guided me from the room.
“What do you need?” he whispered against my ear.
“Air. Fresh air.”
“Okay. There are too many cameras out front. Come with me.”
I let him lead me, too caught up in my own internal meltdown to think about how he touched me like he owned me… like he cared. Suddenly we were outside in an alley, the cool air hitting me, allowing my chest to finally fill properly and I sucked it in greedily.
“Slow your breathing, Dawson. In and out, nice and slow.” He pressed my hand against his flesh, his heart beating rhythmically against my palm, which made no sense because he was fully dressed in the hot as fuck suit I’d seen him in earlier. “Can you feel that?”
“Your heart?” I whispered.
“Yes. Feel the rhythm through your fingers. Use me, Dawson. I don’t understand what you need right now, so show me.”
I pulled back, hating feeling alone again, but needing to make an immediate change. Shucking off my jacket, Marshall laughed softly as I threw it to the ground.
“Better?”
“Sleeves.” I held out my arms, my body still not feeling like my own.
Marshall held me by both wrists. “You want me to rip them off or roll them up?”
I looked up at him, his eyes creased in a warm smile that didn’t feel sarcastic or judgy, making me grateful he was here.
“Roll them up.”
Slowly, Marshall unfastened the buttons on my cuffs and then folded the material so they sat above my elbows, the cool breeze in my skin instantly calming me. “Better,” he asked, his voice low, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
I thought about how I felt and replied with the only word that made sense. “Overwhelmed.”
“Here.” He took my hand again and slipped it beneath the unfastened buttons of his shirt, which explained why I could feel his skin earlier. I let the steady beat of his heart soothe me and tried not to think about how his hairless chest felt under my fingers or how soft his skin was against the hard outline of his pec.
I leaned forward, pressing my forehead to his shoulder, needing to feel grounded and safe. Marshall tensed for a second before wrapping his hand around the back of my neck, dragging his thumb in a circular motion while his other hand wrapped around my hip, holding me steady. “It’s okay. We can stay here as long as you need. Just breathe, Dawson. I’ve got you.”
His voice, that accent, it felt like a familiar beacon that I could cling to.
“Is it being here or is it Fox and Lea?”
