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“At least you got to propose to her. Mia announced our engagement before I even knew about it.” Connor shrugs and gives his wife a smirk. When Mia stops giggling, he nods into his glass. “And I’m going to pay for that.”
Sienna and I glance at one another and laugh.
“Okay, fine, so none of you have a Hallmark romance,” I say. “With Todd it’s just expected, I suppose. Planned.”
I don’t know what it is. There are no fireworks. No romance. No....and this is the hardest pill to swallow...love.
And I want to be loved.
I deserve it.
Doesn’t every woman?
My eyes dart to Mack who is, once again, watching me.
Decker loves me.
But it can’t be real. It can’t work. I’m so angry with him.
Yet I can’t deny there was something so all-consuming about the way we were together. The chemistry, the way we bantered and argued. The way his entire body screamed possession of me with every single move he made.
Standing beside me.
Lying over me.
Smiling at me from across the room.
Watching me as I walked away from him.
I told Mia a few days ago I was a virgin. To say she was shocked was an understatement. When I said I’d slept with Decker, she was less surprised.
“Honestly, these men get under your skin. And babe, he’s hot as hell,” she had added quietly.
“Yeah, he really is,” I’d replied, smiling sadly.
“So, what does that mean for you and Todd?”
“Oh, I’m not telling him. He’d lose his mind.” I replied.
“Sorry, why? What am I missing here?” Mia had asked, tilting her head. “I’m trying to work out if you are religious, but I think I’ve seen you do some very unreligious things.”
I had snorted right about then.
“No. Unless we want to call it the Church of Todd.” I said. “I’m not sure. He’s a little controlling.”
I couldn’t tell her about the manipulation, or she’d send Connor to beat him up. So instead, Mia gave me a look I will never forget.
Pity. Disappointment. Sadness.
“I thought you had slept with tons of men. Sorry.”
I threw my hands up. “I know. I wanted everyone to think that. But I never wanted to sleep with any of them honestly. Not until I met Decker. He...I wasn’t going to leave him and not make love to him.”
“Love?”
“You know. Sex,” I said and Mia had slowly smiled. I groaned and added, “Just sex. I’m marrying Todd.”
“Babes, he sounds very controlling. Something doesn’t sound right. Is he remaining celibate?”
