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None of the others were in our reserved booth, which wasn’t surprising since it was still over twenty minutes before everyone else was due to arrive. I slumped back against the plush leather backrest with a sigh. “I don’t know why I’m telling you, but I need to tell someone. It turns out that I’m not as straight as I thought I was, and I might have, uh, messed around with someone, but we both knew it couldn’t go anywhere. I need to get him out of my head.”
“Oh.” JJ sank into the booth next to me. “Is this the first time you’ve been interested in a man? You don’t have to tell me.”
“Yeah. I didn’t…I’ve never been attracted to men before him, but yeah, I guess I’m not straight anymore. It doesn’t matter, though. I’m a Premier League footballer. I can’t be anything but straight. Not openly.”
JJ’s hand landed on my arm, squeezing lightly. “I don’t know much about football, but I do know something about the pressures that athletes are under from talking to other people in the community. Football sounds…difficult. I’ve heard about the homophobic fans.”
I nodded. “Well, yeah. That’s part of it, I guess. But it’s not even just that because so many of the fans are fucking incredible. I know there would be support, even though there’d be shit from the bigots. But it’s the whole football culture. All that pressure to be a certain way. Everyone involved in the game that have been brought up to think one way and can’t imagine anything else. And then there are the international problems, like we saw at that fucking World Cup. It’s not just the English league that we have to think of. Things are even worse in some other parts of the world.”
JJ’s eyes darkened. “Yeah. Some of the things I’ve heard…I can’t even imagine what it must be like to live somewhere where it’s illegal to be gay. It’s fucked up.”
“It is. Seriously fucked up. So, yeah. That’s another thing. It’s also… There’s no precedent in the Premier League. No active players who are out. The pressure would be fucking insane.”
“I can’t even imagine.” His mouth curved downwards, his shoulders slumping. “Was he worth it, though?”
Memories flashed through my mind.
“He was worth everything.”
* * *
My conversation with Grant and Reuben faded into obscurity as I watched the final member of our gathering ascend the stairs. My eyes drank him in greedily. Polished black loafers, black trousers that clung to the muscles of his legs, a leather belt, a black shirt that showcased his fucking hot body, with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a shiny Patek Philippe watch on his wrist. Then there was his face. He’d shaved, so his jaw was all smooth, soft skin, and his raven hair was perfectly styled, sweeping across his forehead.
Fucking hell. Men had never made my dick hard before him, but Theo was really doing it for me. He was so fucking sexy, and I couldn’t breathe as he drew nearer, my dick straining against my trousers and my heart racing as fast as an Olympic sprinter. Since we’d arrived home, this was the first time I’d seen him outside of a team situation, and I was rapidly falling apart.
I couldn’t pull myself together. Soon, everyone was going to know just how into him I was, melting into a fucking helpless puddle onto the floor.
“Jordan. It’s ready if you want to come and see.”
I tore my gaze away from Theo with an effort, meeting JJ’s eyes. I blinked. “Wh—what?”
“It’s ready.” He closed his fingers around my arm in an iron grip, dragging me away from Theo.
When we were alone, in a shadowy corner of the VIP area, the pulsing club lights sweeping around us, I turned on him. “What the fuck?”
“I’m doing you a favour. If you don’t want your friends to find out, you need to stop being so obvious.”
I stared at him in horror. “I was being that obvious?”
His mouth twisted. “Yeah, babe, you really were. You were looking at him like he was your last meal.”
Shit.I slumped against the wall, my head in my hands. “Did anyone notice?”
“I don’t think so, but you might want to tone down the eye fucking. I nearly combusted.”
Fucking brilliant.
“I—”
“Jordan.”
My breath caught in my throat at the sound of the new voice. JJ melted away, and I was left alone in this dark corner, with only the wall at my back holding me upright.
He was right in front of me, strong and solid and smelling good enough to eat, and I was completely fucking helpless. My cock was pounding, and my heart was beating so fast I was probably going to be in need of medical attention at any second.
Planting his hand on the wall next to my head, he leaned in, trailing his nose up my throat.
My body trembled. I fisted my hands at my sides, wanting to touch him with everything I had but knowing that I couldn’t. Knowing that he was out of my reach.
