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She had shown up for breakfast half-naked every morning for the past five months, trying to get his attention. She got it all right, but there was no way that he was going to give into his need for her. He told her as much, not that it helped matters at all. In fact, it only seemed to ramp up her efforts.
Tonight, it was her turn to make dinner and when he walked into the dark kitchen to find the candles lit on the table, the wine chilling in a bucket, and the table set to perfection, he knew that he was going to have to put up his walls to keep her at arm’s length.
“What’s all this?” he asked.
She turned to look the table over and smiled at him. “Um, it’s dinner,” she said. “Are you hungry?” she tugged the apron that she was wearing over her head to reveal the skimpiest pair of shorts and a t-shirt that was about two sizes too small for her. He was hungry all right, just not for dinner.
“What are you wearing?” he asked.
“Oh, this is one of the outfits that Dallas sent with me. I have to do laundry, and this is about all I had left that was clean.” She was lying. They had just done laundry the other night together, but he wasn’t about to call her on it. How could he be mad at her when she looked so good? He couldn’t.
“How about we sit down to eat, and you can fill me in on what Savage said about how things are back at home?” she asked. He had made the excuse that he had to call Savage, earlier in the day, when she had practically crawled onto his lap, begging him to give her a neck massage. He knew that she could probably feel the erection that he was sporting and with the way that she slid around on his lap, he was sure that she was doing her best to make things worse. He had to come up with an excuse to get her off his lap and run to his bedroom to jack off before he came in his damn pants. And now, he was going to have to come up with a lie about what Savage had said. It was a good thing that he was quick on his feet after working undercover for so many years.
“He really didn’t have much to report,” Spider lied. “No new news.”
“How is everything back home? I never thought that I’d miss Huntsville, but I do,” she said. Amelia sat down next to him and pulled her long legs up onto the chair. Dear Lord, she even painted her toes a cute shade of pink. This woman was going to be the end of his resolve to stay single.
She seemed to notice the way that he was looking at her and when she ran her hands down her bare legs, he nearly swallowed his tongue. He wanted to be her hands. Hell, he wanted to get his hands on her body more than he wanted his next breath, but Spider knew that he couldn’t let that happen.
“You’re looking at me funny,” she leaned over the table to whisper.
Spider cleared his throat, “Sorry,” he said. “I guess I just have a lot on my mind.” That was the first truth that he’d given her since walking into the kitchen. He did have a lot on his mind—mostly involving getting her naked and underneath him.
Amelia smiled as if she could read his mind and slid off her chair and onto his lap. “I’ve had a lot on my mind too,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. No, no, no—he couldn’t do this but when he banded his arms around her waist, he knew that he was a goner.
Spider didn’t ask permission, sealing his mouth over hers and when he finally broke their kiss, they were both panting with need. He wanted to put her on the table and strip her bare, but he needed to keep his head straight. If he did what he wanted, and took her on the kitchen table, he’d never be able to keep her safe. She deserved that from him—to be kept safe from the trouble that he helped to put her in.
“We can’t do this,” he whispered.
“Can’t do what?” she asked. She knew exactly what he was referring to.
“We can’t have sex, honey,” he said. She pouted at him, and he wanted to lean in and suck her sexy bottom lip into his mouth, but he knew that would only end up with him giving into her.
“Don’t look at me that way,” he breathed. “You and I can’t happen.”
“Give me one good reason why not,” she demanded, her adorable bottom lip still sticking out.
“I’ve already told you why we can’t be together. I don’t date and I don’t do relationships. I have one-night stands. I fuck and leave. You’re not the kind of girl that I can do that with,” he said.
“I’d be up for trying things your way,” she said.
“No,” he breathed, “we won’t be trying things my way. For one thing, I can’t leave after we fuck. We’re stuck here together and if we get into bed together, we won’t be able to leave if things go south.”
“Why do things have to go south?” she asked. “I mean, you haven’t even given me a chance and you’re already sick of me and considering what will happen if we have sex.”
“Because I know how things will end. There’s a reason why I don’t have relationships, Amelia. My lifestyle won’t allow for me to be with a woman long-term. My job is dangerous.”
She barked out her laugh, “No kidding,” she said. “I mean, here we are in a safe house, running from the Ghosts, and you’re explaining to me how dangerous your job is. I’m well aware, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t still want you. We’ve been stuck together for months now, Spider. Can you blame me for wanting this; for wanting you?”
He couldn’t blame her at all because he felt the same way, but the difference was, he wasn’t willing to act on his feelings. Spider couldn’t compromise her safety and if he let his guard down and took what he wanted from her; if he let himself feel things for her that he never felt for any other woman in his life, it wouldn’t end well. Of that, he was certain.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He helped Amelia from his lap and stood. “I just can’t. I’m going to take a bath and then I’m going to get some sleep. Goodnight, Amelia,” he said. He walked out of the kitchen, feeling her eyes on him the whole time, but he didn’t dare turn around. He couldn’t take the hurt that he knew he’d find in her eyes looking back at him. That would break him, and he couldn’t let that happen.
Amelia
“Don’t be a chicken,” she said to her reflection. “Just march into that bathroom and tell him what you want.” She nodded at herself, tightened the belt of her robe around her waist, and walked over to the master bathroom door. Amelia took a deep breath and turned the doorknob, surprised that he hadn’t locked the door to keep her out. He was pretty adamant about her keeping her distance from her.
He looked up at her from the tub, where he sat soaking, and she instantly regretted just walking in on him. “What the hell, Amelia?” he asked.
