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“What the hell were you talking to her for?” I nearly gasped as I froze. “I can onlyimaginewhat she told you. She fucking hates my guts, Hannah.”
She shook her head. “She didn’t act like she hated you at all.”
“She’s one hundred percentagainstthis club—and I don’t even blame her for that. Garrett was her whole world, and it was the same for him, man. It’s—I just... I don’t know. You need to stop poking around.” My heart was racing as I stood up, pulling myself from her grasp again. “Like you don’t know what you’re doing, poking around in the past like this. Igaveyou the photo albums with all the club history—why the hell are you pulling for all this personal shit on me?”
“What are you talking about?” She looked stunned and irritated, which I was starting to recognize as a theme with our relationship. “I’m not trying to dig up anything on you. I just ran into her at the café. It was a pure coincidence—and you should probably sit back down. Your bullet wound is bleeding again.”
I had completely forgotten about the injury, and the moment she pointed it out, the pain came flooding back to my brain, my shoulder burning. “Right.” I took a seat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t see how you coincidentally ran into her. That just doesn’t happen.”
“Okay, well, itdoes,and it honestlydid.” Her voice was softening as she continued. “And I am curious about your past, but it has nothing to do with the article. I guess I just...” Hannah’s voice trailed off as she met my gaze, her expression contorted. “I guess I just care about you—like I want to get to know you.”
“That’s a bad idea.”
“Why?”
“Because as you probably already know, that was supposed to bemethat night that my dad and brother were ambushed.”
“Ambushed? I thought they just got into an accident?”
“They were in an accident—because they were ambushed.” I don’t know why I didn’t let her think it was just an accident, but there was something about the woman that made me...honest.
“And the ambush was meant for you?”
“It was meant for my dad.” I fought to keep the grief at bay, not having talked about that night in years. I chewed the inside of my cheek, the dark side of my life smacking around in my head.
This is why I couldn’t be with someone.
“I wasn’t feeling great that night,” I continued for some reason, avoiding Hannah’s eyes. “But it was just because I was hungover. I wasn’t actually sick. I was being a fucking pussy about it. It was raining that night, and I had a headache. Garrett offered to go instead—skipping out on a date with Louise. Later on, I found out that he had planned to propose to her...” my voice trailed off as I ran my fingers through my dark hair, hating myself all over again. “I didn’t have anyone. Garrett did. He had a whole life ahead of him. He was planning on backing out of the club—not totally, but enough to start a family, settle down.”
Hannah’s face filled with the exact sympathy that I abhorred. “You’ve got just as much of a right to be here as anyone else. I don’t think you should beat yourself up for it. I mean, maybe you’re here for a reason—”
“Jesus,” I groaned out, stopping her. “I’ve heard it all, Hannah. I don’t need a therapist, and I don’t need to rehash what happened. I know that it’s not my fault—but itismy fault. I should be the one six feet under, and Garrett should be here with a wife and kids.”
“But he would be happy to know that you’re here.”
“You didn’t even know him.” I eyed her, though I had to admit that I appreciated the effort she was making. “And evenifthat’s what he thought about it, I’m not doing a great job with leaving a fucking legacy.”
“Well, you’re the VP of the club,” she pointed out, shrugging her shoulders.
“And Dad was the president. Garrett was the VP. When the accident happened, everything went sideways for the club for a while. I lost myself for a long time, and I don’t know that I’ve found myself again.”
She was quiet, sitting there on the bed beside me. “Maybe you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.”
“You’re just a walking motivational speech, aren’t you?” I chuckled, ready to get away from the subject. “I’ll be fine.”
“You don’t sound like you’re fine. You sound like you need a vacation.”
“Okay, well, thanks.” I shook my head at her, a smile tugging at her lips. She must’ve caught the hint that I was done discussing my shitty, regret-filled past.
And I was actually thankful for that.
“Do you ever go on vacation?”
“No,” I laid back on the pillow. “I don’t go on vacation, but we do ride to visit the other chapters. Arizona, Northern California, and Oregon.”
“That’s interesting, but I think you need arealvacation...” her voice trailed off.
“Yeah, maybe someday.” I shut my eyes, fatigue washing over my body as the music thrummed through the clubhouse, another party already underway.
