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Her mouth dropped open. “How… How did you find out?”
“Thatis what you’re going to ask me?” I bellowed, throwing my hands in the air. “Are you fucking serious? How about an apology for the fact I don’t evenknowmy own daughter?”
She backed up a couple of steps from me, her lip quivering. “Iamsorry. I just… I just didn’t… I…”
“Yeah, you can’t even come up with an excuse for it, because there isn’t one!” My voice was straining with emotion, and I was fighting back the urge to just fucking break down right there on her couch.
“Youleftme.”
“Youlefta town that I couldn’t leave,” I exasperated, shaking my head. “And I told you why when you came back, and youstillhid her from me. I gave youallmy honesty. I wanted to start over, Hal. I wantedus.”
She shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes. “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to go back to this. It’ll never work between us, because you don’t know how to put us first. And I have to keep her safe.”
“Safe from what?”
“You.”
One word had never cut so bad in my entire life, and I wanted to punch the lights out in that living room because of it. However, I stayed calm, only clenching my fists beside my sides.
“I was just a kid, Hal. I didn’t know how to tell you about my dad. I was ashamed, but I would’ve taken care of you two. I would’ve figured something out.”
“I don’t know,” Hallie’s voice was as distant sounding as the look on her face. “I just… I was so broken when things ended. I never saw it coming, and I couldn’t bear the thought of having to see you when you didn’t love me anymore.”
“I’ve always loved you,” I murmured, wishing that I didn’t feel so much fucking sympathy for the woman who had kept my daughter a stranger to me. “I was just a kid, and by the time I had grown up, it wouldn’t have been fair to invade your life. You’d moved on, and that was that. I had to let you go and live the life that you always wanted.Thatis real love, Hal. Sometimes it means letting go.”
The sound of her cry nearly buckled my knees, but I kept my distance. This conversation wasn’t supposed to be about us, and I couldn’t give her that. She had chosen to break it off this time, and I wouldn’t beg—I didn’t want to be with her anyway…
At least I was still trying to tell myself that. The woman had an iron grip on my heart.
“I’m so sorry, Gunner,” she sobbed. “I wanted to tell you. I wanted us to be a family, but I was so scared. I was scared you’d leave us.”
I winced at the crippling hurt in her voice. “I wouldn’t have left you. I’ve been shit with my phone, but I would’ve gotten better. I just… I haven’t had to keep up with anyone since you. I haven’t fuckingbeenwith anyone in years.”
“I should’ve at least told you when you came back to town—and I almost did,” Hallie wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I just… I didn’t know how you’d take it. I knew you’d be so mad, and so I thought that if I just put it off—”
“It shouldn’t have mattered how angry I would’ve been.”
Her brows furrowed. “You wouldn’t have wanted me.”
“Well, I sure as hell would’ve been willing to work it out had you come to me instead of me having to find you out.”
Her expression contorted in pain. “You won’t forgive me for this, will you?”
I hesitated, knowing that I had already forgiven her. That was the problem with Hallie—and it had always been the problem with her. The woman could do whatever the hell she wanted, and I would always forgive her. There wasnothingthat I wouldn’t be willing to work through…
But I had to stay strong on this. Besides, she hadn’t even mentioned that she wanted us again. She was only worried about me hating her.
“I want to be a part of my daughter’s life,” I said in a sharp tone. “Andthatis what we have to figure out. I want her to know who her father is, and I want a relationship with her—and if you won’t give me that—”
“Of course, I’ll give you that,” she cut me off, her voice breaking again. “I won’t try to keep you out of her life. We’ll figure out how to introduce her to you, and we’ll work it out.”
“I’ve already bought a house,” I said, keeping my tone flat. “So she won’t be anywhere near the clubhouse. I don’t want her around that.”
Hallie nodded, wrapping her arms around herself. “I’m so sorry…”
“Yeah,” I grunted, finally gaining back some of the confidence I’d had before I saw her face in person. “I hope so.”
“I still love you, you know.” Hallie batted her fresh tears away. “I always have, and I always will. I shouldn’t have broken things off over your phone—I was just… I was panicking because of everything that’s happened between us. And then once I found out about that night…”
