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Women like her are my weakness. My natural instinct is to shelter them from the evils of the world. Usually, I find them a safehouse with somebody I trust to watch over them, but with her, I want to be her protector instead of pushing her off on someone to do that job for me.
That’s has me fucked up.
Is my feeling a betrayal to Ma?
Am I defying the boundaries of my matrimony, being reckless by bringing her into our home?
How would my kids, or my grandkids, feel if they knew I was considering being her salvation? Her knight. The one who obliterates her demons and buries them deep down into a pit of dirt.
Charlee, deep down, has such a soft heart that I think she’d be open to my thoughts.
Gunner, on the other hand, worshipped his mother. Would he see this act as being disrespectful to her memory?
It’s a damn good thing that this is more curiosity than me moving on, because I don’t see how I could do that. I don’t think that I could ever be in love again. I don’t have the mental, emotional, or physical capacity of sharing myself with another woman when I’m still in love with my deceased wife.
But then Ma’s words whisper back through my mind.
Let me go, my love. I’m your past. Your future awaits you.
Was this what she was referring to? Is Shayne the future she mentioned?
More of her words come back to haunt me.
You’ll always have me, but open yourself up, and let another in. You can do this. I’ll still be here when you need me, but my physical body will never experience your touch, and yours will never feel mine. Your second chance is around the corner. Save her. Protect her. Love her. Just like you did with me. I’m sending her to you, dear. I trust you to help her bloom and show her what family means.
“What family means,” I mumble aloud.
Remember, I’m here if you need me. Call out if you do and I’ll come. But I’m going to leave you now so that you can go on without wondering if I’m hearing and watching you find a reason to live with another by your side. Take care of yourself, love. Forgive me and yourself, husband. My purpose in life was fulfilled, and it was my time to join our lost loved ones.
“Damn you, woman. Always meddling, even from the other side of the veil,” I moan under my breath, running my hand down my scruffy beard. Both fear and frustration course through me.
Fear because the aspect of moving on with another woman frightens the ever-loving shit out of me. Frustration because Ma took the choice of if I want to move on or not out of my hands. What this woman deems as right isn’t always what others do. She’s never steered me wrong before, but I’m still standoffish about allowing another woman into my life when she could potentially be ripped away from me.
Shayne doesn’t only come with a suitcase of baggage… that I could handle. No, she comes with a trunk full of problems and risks. Danger that’s already stolen people I loved and could snatch a few more before this war with the Crumleys is over.
The rumbling of steel as it’s rearranged and pulled to the side in order to make the opening we cut bigger captures my attention. First through is Charlee. Country grabs her up in his arms and crushes her to his rumbling chest.
“Swear that man is part bear,” I muse, making Charlee chuckle.
Next through is one of the women. This one is a platinum blonde whose curls bounce around the frame of her face. “This is Tammera, but she prefers to be called Mera.” Charlee introduces our ragtag group to her as she bends down, pushing Luca to the side so she can help the other woman, Shayne, through the expanse opening.
When Shayne lifts her head, our eyes are immediately drawn to the other’s. Her crystal blue eyes hypnotize my hazel ones. She’s caught me in a trance that I can’t seem to break free of. I’m not sure if I want to.
“Hi,” she shyly says, giving us a half-wave.
“This is Shayne,” Charlee states, reaching out and helping the woman from her crouched position. “Shayne, this is my husband, Country. My brothers, Master, Tyson, my Uncle Luca, and my dad, Pops.”
“Nice to meet you,” she softly replies as she stands up, and moves away, so that Hemmi can finish crawling her way through the opening. Tyson bends down and lifts Hemmi from her knees and carts her away to the car without another word spoken.
“He’s not a man of many words,” I tease, since Shayne and Mera’s eyes are comically wide as he whisks her away.
“Rude would be my wording for it.” Luca tsks, shaking his head.
“Give him a break,” Master inserts. “He’s protective of my sister. This has been hard on him. They’ve never spent this much time away from each other or the twins.”
“This is nice and all,” Mera says, waving her hands wildly through the air. “But can we get out of here? Last thing we need to do is stand here lollygagging in case her crazy brothers are having us watched.”
“She makes a good point,” I admit, reaching out to take Shayne’s hand to walk her to the getaway car. She tentatively reaches out. Apprehension has her hands trembling while doing so. “You’re safe with us. I guarantee it.”
