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“You look at everything—every person—in life as a challenge to be won.”
“Everyone likes winning.” His eyes narrow. “I seem to recall that you claimed a few victories thanks to my help.”
“But I didn’t want your help. I never asked for it.”
“I was just trying to make things easier for you.”
“I didn’t want things to be easier.” I shake my head. “That’s the difference between us. You see life as something to gamify.”
“And how do you see it?”
“I know there’s more to it than winning.” I drain my glass and set it down. “So much more.”
ELEVEN
SAMANTHA
“Hey, what gives?” Kat nudges me before reaching for one of the bottles of syrup in the middle of the table. “You look like someone told you the Pancake Gals ran out of baking powder or milk.”
“I’m pretty sure they use a pre-made mix.”
Besides, there’s no concern of us running out. Allegra, my assistant, triple-checked that the crew has enough pancakes to go around if the last ten graduating classes all arrived. She did it without asking, proving she truly is a rock star.
One of these days, Allegra will realize she’s way too talented to be my assistant. I’ll miss her when she’s gone. But I’ll do everything I can to give her the support she needs to take the next step in her career.
Assuming I still have any sway over those kinds of things. Now that I know my first great achievement—and everything I built from it—never really happened. Or, at least, it maybe wouldn’t have. Not if a certain nameless man hadn’t made that decision for both of us.
I sigh. This time there’s no avoiding Kat’s concerned stare. Barely holding in another sigh, I lift my shoulders.
“I think I’m having a bit of an existential crisis.”
She arches an eyebrow. “Over pancakes.”
“I wish it was just over pancakes.” I shake my head. “Have you ever felt like everything you thought you knew is wrong? And now nothing makes sense and you have no control over anything in your life?”
“All the time.”
I blink in surprise. “What was that?”
“I said I do. All the time. Everyone does.” She gives a short laugh. “If you’re just now realizing that, you should probably fire your shrink.”
Slightly recovering, I lift my shoulder. “What makes you think I have a shrink?”
“Let’s see. Your dad left when you were little. Your mom—wonderful as she is—was hardly around, because she was always working multiple jobs to support the two of you. You spent most of high school and the years after hating the guy you secretly had a crush on.” Kat taps her fingers as she lists each item. “You make bank now. Plus, we’re California women. You obviously have a therapist.”
As usual, Kat hits everything a little too well on the nose. It would be pointless for me to try to dismiss any of her suggestions. Not when we both know she’s right.
“I didn’t hate Zack.” I press my lips together to keep them from quivering. “He was just my rival.”
She snorts. “Rival. Person you hate. Is there really much difference? Besides, I think we both know that no matter how you felt about him in high school, you see him completely differently now.”
“I don’t know. I think he might be exactly who I thought he was all along. Entitled. Spineless. Manipulating.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Spineless and manipulating? That’s a pretty impressive accomplishment for one person to achieve.”
“Yeah, well, Zack is nothing if not impressive.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
