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Killian + Jilly
Unknown Number:I miss you a lot. The world just feels colder without you.
Killian:Aw, thanks! I miss you too.
Unknown Number:Whoa. Dicer?
Killian:Sorry, no dice. Hahahhahaha. Get it? I just got this cell phone number today. Mine wouldn’t switch over this go round. Someone break your heart?
Unknown Number:Did someone break my heart? How about someone shattered it. My best friend, my partner in crime, my sworn protector. My favorite person on this fucking planet is gone. My brother died, asshole.
Killian:Oh. Shit. My bad. Wow. I am so sorry. Fuck me. I truly apologize. That was such an insensitive assumption. Damn, I’m the worst human on the planet.
Unknown Number:I doubt that’s true. The earth is pretty damn big. You didn’t know.
Killian:For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I have his number now. I can’t imagine how wrong that feels.
Unknown Number:I knew my C U N T of a stepmom would stop paying the bill eventually. It was bound to happen sooner or later.
Killian: Did you just spell out cunt?
Unknown Number:Yeah. I hate that word. But there really isn’t another one that accurately describes my father’s second ex-wife. My dad has terrible taste in women. Just so you know, I’m not the only person who still texts him. Dicer. You’ll get more messages.
Killian:Thanks for the heads-up.
Unknown Number:Wanna fuck with them?
Killian:I’m still feeling like a complete asshole for saying the wrong thing to you. It seems cruel, doesn’t it??
Unknown Number:It’s incredibly cruel. But Dicer would have gotten a kick out of it, so…maybe just a little? When justified. If they get pissed at you, tell them Jillian put you up to it. I’m Jillian, by the way.
Killian:I’m Killian. Nice to meet you. Jillian and Killian. Ain’t we a pair?
Jillian:My friends call me Jilly.
Killian:My friends call me Killer.
Jilly:Do they tho?
Killer:Hahahaha, sometimes. Was Dicer your brother’s name or a nickname?
Jilly:His name was Justin. He always carried around a pair of dice in his pocket—he had ADHD, and it was his fidgeting outlet. His buddies started calling him that in elementary school, and it stuck.
Killer:Well, I know I’m not him. But if you ever need anything, I’m only a text away.
Jilly:Thanks, Killer. Nope. Can’t do it. Sorry, KillIAN. Although I did add you in my phone as Killer. So there’s that. Anyway, this could have been a real arrow through the heart, but you made it more interesting than depressing. You seem like a nice guy. If anyone deserves his number, I’m glad it’s you.
Killer:I’ll try to do it justice. Was he a player, your big bro? Should I be expecting late-night booty calls?
Jilly:How did you know he was older?
Killer:Idk. Just a vibe, I guess.
Jilly:My brother didn’t share his sexual habits with his baby sister, as you can imagine. But he’s been gone for about three months now, and he had a serious girlfriend before that.
Killer:Got it. Again, I’m sorry for your loss. Have a good night, Jilly.
Jilly:Thanks, Killian, you too.
