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Cap:I don’t know that I’ve ever felt Dicer like that.
Killian:Or, has he been with you since that night and you don’t know what his absence truly feels like? Go talk to him, man. He’ll answer.
Caroline + Killian
Caroline:Hey. I, uh, I don’t know if this is still okay to do? Are you still taking texts from the strangers who invaded your life?
Killian:On the daily. What’s up? How are you feeling?
Caroline:I’m good. The baby is good, healthy. Growing, that’s for sure. I look like I swallowed a volleyball.
Killian:I’m glad to hear it.
Caroline:I have a favor to ask, which I know sounds selfish after everything you’ve already done for all of us. And you can tell me to get lost. I would completely understand. No pressure here.
Killian:I have a feeling you don’t have a selfish bone in your body. Please don’t feel bad, just let me know what you need.
Caroline:I need to talk to Dicer. I need to say a few things… I need to purge, you know? I tried to speak to him out loud, I did, but it’s not working.
Killian:Say all the things you need to say, Caroline. No judgment.
Caroline:Okay. Thank you.
Caroline:I miss you all the time. I reach for my phone, wanting to call you or text you. Whenever there’s another pregnancy milestone, my immediate reaction is to tell you. How silly is that? You didn’t even know this baby existed. And yet, I feel the urge to share every moment of it with you.
I finished school, crammed everything into this last semester and studied through the blur of my tears. I wanted to be able to focus on the baby without graduation looming over my head.
My parents are so supportive. They’re planning to turn their office into a nursery. I had dinner with your stepdad last week, just me and him. I thought about inviting Jilly, but I knew it would’ve been hard for her to see her dad so emotional.
As soon as I walked into the restaurant, he knew. He started crying, and he held me so tight. He thanked me over and over. He said that our baby was the greatest gift. And he’s right. This baby was sent down from heaven so the people you love will never have to truly live without you. You were so wonderful in life that the universe refused to let the earth suffer through your absence. That’s how special you were, babe.
And me? Well, I think I might be falling for your best friend. How terrible am I in comparison? I promise I’m trying to be good with being alone. I promise I’m trying to bury those pesky feelings when they pop up. But he’s being so kind. He checks on me. He sends me my favorite snacks, and he shows up to our doctor appointments. He drives hours to be with me so I don’t have to sit alone, looking at all the couples in the waiting room. He never comes into the back with me, although I always wish he would. The waiting room is hard, but the ultrasounds are brutal.
Anyway. I miss you, and I love you. Please don’t hate me.
Killian: I told myself I wouldn’t read your message. But I was worried. I’m sorry for invading your privacy, but I swear to you, Caroline, I swear to you, he could never hate you. Nothing you’re feeling is wrong, and Dicer would never condemn you for any of it.
Caroline:How do you know?
Killian:Because he loved you. He truly loved you. And a love like that? It has no room for selfishness. He’d want you happy. He’d want you whole. He’d want you worshipped and cared for. I know this like I know the sky is blue. Please believe that.
Caroline:I’m trying.
Killian + Cap
Killian:Hey.
Cap:Hey? Why does it seem like you’re in your feels right now?
Killian:Stop being insightful. Next time you go wait with Caroline, take Jilly with you. I understand why you won’t go back with her. But send Jilly.
Cap:She told you that?
Killian:No, she told Dicer.
Cap:Wow. Okay, yeah. I’ll bring Jilly with me. Thanks. Any chance you’ll tell me what else she said to Dicer?
Killian:I wouldn’t feel right. She asked if she could talk to Dicer, and the rest isn’t my story to tell.
