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She stopped me, pointing. “What’s that?”
“It’s a brand. A mark of shame.” Knowing what she’d referenced, I lifted my arm to look at the brand now showing in my sleeveless vest. It was still raised and raw from the lack of healing, but the skin was no longer oozing. I considered that a good thing.
“No, no. I know what that is.” River waved me off. “I heard Ash thinking about it before I warned them to shield. People get loud when their emotions are heightened. Or, in your case, horny.” She smirked at me. “You guys were all shouting shit at me. And at each other. Those boys need to learn to communicate more.”
“You really can read minds?”
“Only when they’re loud,” she replied.
“So, what are you talking about, if not the burn?”
She pointed lower, at my chest.
I followed her finger, looking down. There was a slightly silver mark above my heart, right above the hem of my vest. It wasn’t something I had noticed before, and there was no way to know how long it had been there. I hadn’t looked at myself closely since before I was arrested. It was small and at an awkward angle to view from above. I’d need to examine it more closely in a mirror before really making it out.
“I don’t know,” I hedged, moving my head to see it from another angle. I scratched at it. It wasn’t raised. Was it a residual scar from all my recent healings or some other side effect?
“Doesn’t look like any scar or side effect I’ve ever seen.”
“I wasn’t yelling that at you. Why could you hear that?”
“Oh, you’re not shielding at all. And you think loudly in general. Especially when you’re flustered.”
I didn’t know the first thing about shielding, or magic really, so how could I shield? It hadn’t even been twelve hours since I’d learned I had any magic at all.
“You really had no magic until today?”
“No. Read that in my mind, too? Please stop. We just went over this. It’s intrusive.” I pulled the tunic over my head.
“Well, stop shouting at me. It’s annoying. Here.” River handed me a brush. “I don’t think I could turn you off if I wanted to. You’re an advertiser. It gets loud.” When she caught my dubious look, she said, “I am being serious. You’re the loudest advertiser I have ever met. I’m not sure if I like that about you or not. We’ll see. Sometimes it's funny. You get weird when you’re agitated.”
“Great,” I said dryly. “How do I stop it?” I turned and attempted to work the brush through my hair. It was almost hopeless. My long, curly hair was one giant wet knot.
“Learn to freaking shield!” She giggled, and for the first time, I wanted to join her. “Or I don’t know, stop thinking so hard.”
“Thanks. That was very informative.”
She giggled again. “Come here! Let's work on this hair. It’s giving me anxiety. I'll give you some pointers while I work.”
Chapter18
Kaia
Returning to our campsite, I was in much better spirits. It made a huge difference having new clothes I didn’t drown in, shoes that actually fit, and hair that wasn’t matted together.
River had combed a floral-smelling product through my wet hair section by section with her hands, gently detangling it with her fingers while she gave me pointers on creating a mental shield.
“Like with your magic, it requires a lot of will. Will a shield around your mind. Will it to be locked tight, so nothing can get out and no one can get in.”
Naturally, I sucked at it. I knew nothing about using magic, so trying to apply that concept to create a shield didn’t work for me. I would have had to know how to use my magic first.
River informed me that I shielded myself from her a total of zero times during our discussion. How could I? She gave no useful pointers and didn’t stop reminding me that I was failing.
“Oh, you’re disappointed. Don’t be. This is something that takes everyone time to learn,” River said. “Oh, jeez, now you’re embarrassed. Don’t be embarrassed. Like I said, this isn’t easy. Okay, easy killer. Screaming at me mentally is the same as screaming at me out loud. Might as well say what you’re thinking. It would annoy me less.”
River gently ran the brush through my hair, her voice even. Meanwhile, I was getting more and more worked up, which River rudely pointed out with an exasperated sigh after one of my particularly colorful thoughts.
“I don’t know what you’re so mad about,” she had said. “You asked me to help you. I’m just letting you know it’s not working. And honestly, thinking about all the ways you want to hurt me isn’t helping you form a wall. That’s all a shield is, remember? A wall around your mind so that I can’t get in and you can’t send me these terrible thoughts.” River perked up. “Your wall could be filled with torture tools. While creatively maiming me, you can add to your wall of horror and finish it. Then the reason you're so mad will just go away. Bonus, once I can finally live in peace without you living in my head, I will be much more pleasant to be around.”
