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My fingers trail lower, sliding over my clit, and I’m fuckingsoakedalready. I don’t even need the added slickness of the lube on my fingers and the toy, the sound of my fingertips against my flesh filling the room wetly. I feel my skin flushing with heat as I circle the throbbing nerves, teasing myself into a frenzy before I reach for the toy.
I don’t hear anything other than that sound, my heartbeat throbbing in my ears, until a rich Irish burr fills the room, and I freeze.
“Christ above,Asha—”
Finn
Iknew before I ever left my apartment that I shouldn’t take the bait. Not that she’d meant it that way—I think she was sending me a clear message when she said that I wouldn’t get what I wanted if I did.
But whatisit that I do want? That’s the real question that I sit there pondering in my apartment with an open beer in front of me, wondering if I should go to the Ashen Rose and see her. She hadn’t said no straight out when I’d said she was making me want to come up and see her—but she wasn’t saying yes, either.
It’s been a push and pull from the start. And it’ll continue being that way.I know I’m not doing myself any favors by going there tonight. More than likely, I’ll leave frustrated again, going home to an empty apartment and dreams of Asha that leave me aching.
And deep down, the fact that I still want to go tells me everything I need to know. That it isn’t just lust that draws me to her—not just desire. That there’s something about her that draws me for reasons that have nothing to do with the physical, and everything to do with who she is.
I want to see her, even if nothing happens beyond talking.
Just the banter over the phone has me aching to see her in person. It’s been so long since anyone has made me feel like this, and it makes me wonder if a part of the attraction is the rush of it, the reminder of what it feels like towantand be wanted. Andgod, do I want her.
It’s the fact that I’d push that aside to spend an evening with her that has me wondering just how tied up in knots this girl really has me—figuratively, that is.
If I wanted it literally, I think all I’d have to do is ask.That, she’d give me.
I won’t touch her,I tell myself as I get up, pouring out the open beer and throwing the bottle away, reaching for my jacket and my keys.I’ll just go and see her. She said she was going to be bored.
I know I’m grasping at straws, but I can’t stop myself from going. I ride to the Ashen Rose, handing my keys to the valet, and head up to the room where I know Asha is without even bothering to stop for a drink. I haven’t seen her since we left Matvei’s, and I want more than anything to see that she’s alright. That she’s back to herself.
I’m not sure why I don’t bother knocking. Maybe it’s just that I already know there’s no chance of her being in there with a client, or my eagerness to see her. Whatever the reason, I step into the room—and freeze where I’m standing.
“Christ above,Asha—”
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more fucking beautiful in my life. She’s lying back on the padded bench that she’d told me was for spanking, but that’s not what she’s using it for. She’s entirely naked—the first time I’ve seen her bare with not a stitch of clothing on her—fuck,she’s gorgeous. Everything about her is perfection, from the dark hair tumbling over her shoulders to her full breasts and narrow waist, the hips that my hands are suddenly aching to grab, and her perfect thighs spread open, her fingers working between the slick folds of her pussy, a toy sitting next to her glistening and ready for her to slide into herself.
I’m certain it’s the fastest I’ve ever gotten an erection in my entire life, even when I was first discovering what all of that was. One moment I’m stepping into the room with a soft cock and every intention of just sitting and talking to Asha for the evening. The next, every bit of blood in my brain has shot downwards, my cock stiff and aching as I look at the vision splayed out in front of me, her face just as shocked as mine.
“Finn!” She squeals my name in a way that I’ve been dying to hear, that in any other circumstances, I would bethrilledto hear, squeezing her legs shut as she yanks her hand away, every inch of her skin flushing with an embarrassment that I honestly wouldn’t have thought she would be capable of feeling. She starts to push herself up from the bench, but I shake my head, every thought of keeping this platonic and professional fleeing from my head in the wake of the sight in front of me.
“Don’t move, Asha.” My voice is hoarse, a rough command that her eyes widen even more at, and she sits up defiantly, swinging her legs over the side of the bench, her arms coming up to cover her breasts. There’s a black silk slip on the floor next to her where she must have discarded it, and I think I’d give just about anything for her not to put it on again.
“Don’t tell me what to do.” She says it almost as a reflex, like she doesn’t really mean it, and I hover on the edge of pushing or backing off.
“What would you do if I did?” I raise my eyebrow, trying to still straddle that line, to not push too hard. “You didn’t say no to my coming here tonight. You just said that I wouldn’t get what I want. But I don’t think you know what I want, Asha.” My voice lowers, and I step a little closer to her, feeling my heart beat hard in my chest.
“Maybe I don’t.” She reaches for the slip, pulling it on over her head, and I feel a twinge of disappointment as it covers her up. “But I know you won’t do whatIwant. And it’s better that way, Finn.” Her gaze flicks towards the toy, her face flushing again. “Just let me—”
“I wish you’d kept going.” I hear the need in my voice, the raw, aching desire. “Just let me watch you.Fuck, Asha, I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but—”
“Oh?” She tosses her hair, and I can see the mantle of the game she plays slide over her again, whatever emotion I was seeing from her hidden under that teasing playfulness that I’m beginning to realize isn’t always authentic.
I wish she’d only ever let me see her as she is. I wish she understood that I like her like that, more than the playful, teasing seductress.
“You would have just stood there and watched?” Her gaze flicks over me, and I see her resolve faltering at the thought, too. “Just watched me come without touching me?”
“If you tell me no, I’m not going to touch you, Asha,” I tell her in a low voice. “No matter how much I fucking want to—believe me, it’s a lot. I want—”
God, I can’t even say the things aloud I want to do to her. They all sound filthy in my head—would sound filthier on my tongue. I see her eyes slide over me again, as if she’s wondering what I’m thinking, and I want to tell her every single detail, if I could make myself speak.
“What if I tied you up?” Her voice has that whiskey-sugar sound again, licking over my skin, and I feel every muscle in my body tense with both desire and resistance all at once. “What if Imadeyou watch?”
