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I nod. “I did. We were together for a couple of years, too. But he—”
Tears well up in my eyes, and I have to try hard not to cry, to finish the story. “You don’t have to tell me now,” Finn says quietly, and I shake my head.
“I need to. I want you to understand why—things have been the way they are.” I take a slow breath. “He was in a biker gang. It was because of his brother—he didn’t really want to be a part of it. But he wasn’t given much of a choice. He was a sweet, kind, shy man—not at all the kind of person whoshouldbe a part of something like that. He loved the bikes and working on them, but the rest—he didn’t want any part of it. And eventually, being a part of that life got him killed.”
The last words come out choked, and Finn grips my hand tighter. “Oh fuck, Felicity. I’m so sorry—”
I sniff back the tears, giving him a wry half-smile. “We pretty much said the same thing to each other.”
“Christ, lass—mine was just a breakup.” Finn pushes himself up a little more against the pillows, his gaze full of pained sympathy. “Your—this Jamie—hedied.”
I nod, the tears spilling over a little at last. “I haven’t really been in love with anyone since. What I had with Nikolai—it came close, sometimes. I felt a lot for him. But I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. He and I were never going to be together like that, so I suppose, in a way, it almost felt safe to have some real feelings for him. It wasn’t possible to really fall in love with him, believe in forever, and then lose him. But—”
Finn’s gaze searches mine, and I see a faint hope on his face. “But what, lass?” he presses, and I look at him sadly, my chest aching.
“I could have felt that way for you. I knew I could have. And I had to keep that distance between us. If I didn’t—”
“Aye, lass. I thought there might be something like that. Not as bad as what the truth was, but I knew there was something. And to tell you the truth—” Finn’s hand finds mine again. “I wanted to think I could wait for you to come around. But not if it meant you going back to Kotov. I couldn’t bear that again.”
“I know. I’m sorry I was angry at you for it. I thought—” I swallow hard. “I thought I lost you.”
“I know, lass.” Finn gives me a faint, sad smile. “I thought the same.”
I want to kiss him. I look at him, and I want everything that I’ve been denying us both for so long. In the quiet silence of the cabin, nestled so far away from everything else, I don’t have the heart to hold back any longer. I’ve seen twice now how quickly everything that I care about can be taken away. As I bend down to kiss him again, I can’t bear the thought that I might have lost him without ever having had the chance to know what this was like.
He kisses me without hesitation, hands sliding into my hair to tug me down into the bed next to him, his mouth hungry and eager and sweet all at once. I feel his groan vibrate against my lips, feel the heat of his skin under my hands as he rolls me onto my back in one fluid motion, and my hands press against his chest, soft copper hair against my fingers as Finn looks down at me.
“Say yes, lass,” he growls, his voice low and rich and thick and so full of need. “Say we’re not going to stop this time.”
“We’re not going to stop,” I breathe, looking up at him, and the look on his face tells me everything that I could ever need to know about whether or not this is the right decision.
There’s no games, no power exchange, nothing between us except forus. We alternate between fast and slow, trying to slow down long enough to savor each thing that feels somehow new, even though we’ve seen it all before. I’ve seen him naked, and he’s seen me, but undressing each other like this feels different. He slides my shirt up over my head, his hands moving over my breasts with something almost approaching reverence, as if he’s savoring being allowed to touch me so freely, without anything constraining either of us. My fingers hook into the waist of the soft pants he’s wearing, pushing them down his hips. Finn grins at me when I suck in my breath at the sight of his hard cock springing free, slapping against his abdomen.
“God, I’m so fucking hard for you, lass.” He kisses me again, firm and urgent, his tongue tangling with mine as he frees me of the bike shorts I was wearing and nestles between my hips, his hand sliding over my bare skin. “I want to take my time, taste every inch of you, but right now—”
“I know,” I whisper, my fingers pressing into the muscles of his shoulders as I arch upwards to kiss him again. “I don’t want to go slow, either.”
“Good,” Finn groans, his hand slipping between us as he angles his cock between my thighs, the tip of it brushing against my clit and making me gasp and moan with the sensation that sweeps over me. I’d wondered for so long what it would feel like to have that piercing rub against me, and it feels better than I’d imagined. I want him both inside of me as soon as possible, and for him to keep rubbing himself against me like that, teasing my clit with that metal ridge until I come. “We’ll take our time later, aye, lass?”
I nod wordlessly, kissing him again as he nudges the tip of his cock against my clit once more, making me cry out against his mouth as he slides downwards, pressing himself against my entrance. He’s swollen and thick, bigger than anyone I’ve been with in a long time—maybe ever. I moan as he starts to push inside of me, and he stops, breaking the kiss as he looks down at me with concern.
“Too much, lass?” he asks, his voice gravelly with desire, and I shake my head.
“No.” I swallow, my hips arching up into his. “No, it’s good. Please, I want—”
He shudders as my hands slide down his back, legs wrapping around his as I pull him into me, and he slides forward. I’m drenched, so wet that he slips inside of me almost easily, even as large as he is, filling me up with a sensation that makes me moan and writhe under him as he sinks to the hilt and holds himself there for just a moment, eyes closing as he groans aloud.
“Christ, you’re so fucking tight. So wet—” His hips shift against me, rocking, his hands clutching the pillows on either side of my head as he braces himself. “Fuck, I’m afraid if I move, I’ll come.”
“It doesn’t have to be long, this time.” I lean up to kiss him, brushing his copper hair away from his face. “I’m close, too. Just feeling you in me—” I moan as he shifts again, his piercing rubbing against spots inside of me that I’m not entirely sure have ever been touched before, my legs tightening around him. “Please fuck me, Finn.”
Finn groans, his forehead pressed to mine as he starts to thrust in long, slow strokes that leave me trembling underneath him. “I’m not surefuckingis the right word for what we’re doing here, lass,” he murmurs against my mouth, his hips rocking against mine with each deep thrust. “But I’m going to give you what we both need.”
His thrusts speed up a little, one stroke at a time, until each is a solid meeting of his flesh against mine, hard and sure, his mouth slanted over mine. I feel his hands seek mine out, lifting them up over my head, his fingers intertwining with mine as the slow build of my climax rises with each thrust of his cock inside of me.
“You feel—so—fuckinggood—” I gasp against his mouth, and then he’s kissing me harder, and I can’t breathe, or think, or do anything at all exceptfeel.
And it feels incredible.Hefeels incredible. There’s nothing here but the two of us, nothing additional, nothing except pleasure, and I had forgotten how good this was. I had forgotten how it feels to be this vulnerable and feel this safe all at once.
