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He smirked, but didn’t meet my gaze again. Killian had deep thoughts, scary thoughts and he would zone out like this to spare me having to know what he was thinking. It was both annoying and scary, but I knew I didn’t want to know what was flashing through his dark mind.
“I’ll head back to the cottage tomorrow morning,” I told him.
Finally, he looked back at me. “You don’t need to. You can stay as long as you want. I’ll be going to London tomorrow for a few days. You can relax here and do what you want. Lorcan can find you someone to look out for you if you need to go to the city or you need to travel. I doubt Amity will try again but she got away and she’ll be mad she didn’t win.”
I felt a little down trodden at the thought of him leaving but I knew I shouldn’t be. I was falling back in love with him, and I knew it.
“I still have to pack up the rest of my boxes and organize to get them shipped to Dublin. My cousin offered me a job there.”
Killian looked away again for a moment, and I waited with bated breath to hear if he would tell me to stay. Some part of me wanted him to do that, and another wanted him to ignore it. If we fought, I could walk away from him, hating him and hopefully make a life in Dublin.
“That’s good,” he said. “You should go.”
The pain that shot out of my chest was brutal, and I felt my body shaking with emotion. Killian stood up, and looked down at me for a brief moment.
I was unable to read his emotions. This was the assassin.
This was the Killian that his father would have wanted all along.
This wasn’t my Killian.
“You’ll be happier there.”
He left the room, and me, quickly. Tears poured out over my cheeks quickly as I struggled to put my tea down on the table before I dropped it. I collapsed onto the ground, sucking in deep breaths to try and calm my body down. I couldn’t tell if it was the rejection from Killian or the fact I’d almost died today, maybe both, but I was not okay.
* * *
Teeghan’s carpulled up outside the cottage just as I was about to book the removalist. I knew she wouldn’t let me stay here alone, not after everything that had happened yesterday. As much as I had wanted to stay at the estate, it just felt so horrible without Killian.
“Hey girl,” she announced as she came in with a box of wine and a bag of what I could only assume was a wide array of snack food.
“How much do you think I can drink?” I asked her.
“Bitch, this is for both of us. Don’t get all greedy on me.”
I rolled my eyes as she put the wine in the fridge and fiddled around in the kitchen.
“I packed all of my plates already,” I called out to her. She poked her head out of the kitchen and held up a couple of plastic plates.
“As if I didn’t already think about that,” she replied. “Come on, girl.”
I chuckled as I locked in the removalists for tomorrow morning. My cousin had already booked a storage room for the boxes in Dublin and my life would soon start.
“I’m going to miss the hell out of you,” Teeghan said as she came into the room with a platter of cheeses, fruit, and hummus. She put it down on the table and went back to the kitchen for another platter of different biscuits and crackers. “Who am I going to take out for cocktails when Conor is being annoying?”
“I hear your friendship with Lorcan has been the talk in that estate.”
Teeghan sat down, rolling her eyes. “Those boys need to get a hobby and leave the gossiping to us girls.”
“I’m scared of the hobby they would take up if they had time.”
Teeghan didn’t laugh. Instead, she grabbed a cracker and dipped it in the hummus. “You know I hardly know what’s going on with their businesses. Conor keeps me well protected. It’s not as scary as you think.”
“Tee, you’ve always been different. I don’t like the intimidation, the criminal roots of that family. I just don’t want to be around darkness.”
Teeghan finished her cracker and sat back in the chair. “Darkness? I guess it’s how you look at it. They have kept this town from going down a rabbit hole like every other city or town that is full of crime. We are relatively safe here, trust me.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” I said. “Killian isn’t interested in a relationship. He wants me gone just as much as I need to get away from this place.”
