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“Killian never said a word to me.”
“He knew you needed time.”
“I feel like I’m betraying Sean,” I said, finally. “Killian was someone he hated.”
“But you never hated him,” Teeghan said. “Sean was my brother and I loved the fucker but you need to say goodbye or you’ll never be happy.”
I nodded, knowing she was right.
She finished her drink and stood. “I have to go anyway. Go and say goodbye to what’s been holding you back all these years. Then decide.”
“But what if he decides in a few months time that I’m not enough?” I asked her, before I stood. “What if in a few months, he’s visiting other womens’ beds all night?”
Teeghan put her sunglasses on and smirked at me. “Sloane, that man has been obsessed with you since the first day he saw you. Take a leap of faith and believe you are enough.”
She pulled me into a hug and said her goodbyes before she headed off to her car. I got in my own car and started to drive. At first, I didn’t know where to go and drove around aimlessly until I turned onto the motorway and headed toward Galway.
When I pulled up outside the cemetery, I knew that my heart and my brain were finally working in unison.
I got out and headed toward Sean’s grave. It was relatively fresh compared to the battered and age worn headstones on either side of his. A reminder that it hadn’t been so long ago I had been a married woman, living an honest life.
Apparently, a life full of secrets.
“Teeghan told me how you died earlier,” I said to the headstone even though I knew it was useless. “I wish you had told me, but then again, you always were too proud to admit you needed help. God, you know, I loved you. I loved you so much, Sean. You were exactly what I needed after Killian but it pains me to say that I knew you knew. I knew you were aware I couldn’t stop loving Killian and I’m sorry that you knew that.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I put my hand on the top of his headstone.
“I tried, Sean. I really did, but I’ve waited years to move on out of respect for you because of that love and probably the guilt that came along with it. I have to stop feeling guilty because it’s eating me up inside.”
God, Sloane, you’ve really gone and lost it now, haven’t you? Talking to a fucking headstone like he’s still there.
I stood up, wiped the tears away from my face and looked down at his name etched into the marble.
“Goodbye, Sean.”
KILLIAN
Conor was grating on my nerves with his leg moving up and down anxiously. It was like his leg had a life of its own. Lorcan read through the paperwork in front of him, his two close advisors behind him, waiting for instruction. I didn’t like to wait, and this was going to do my head in if he didn’t fucking speak and soon.
The doors opened and I saw Teeghan breeze in as if she had just come from a luxury spa. How the hell was that woman so deep in our family already and still looked as if nothing had cracked her yet?
She smiled at us all before she headed down toward the kitchen. Conor’s spirit lifted and his inane anxious leg bounce was gone. It was amazing how one little person could calm that fucking guy down. He was a loose cannon before her, and now I didn’t even know what to call the fucker.
It made me think of Sloane.
Just being in her presence had a calm settle over me like I couldn’t believe. The relief I’d felt when I’d seen her asleep in my bed, and the way she relaxed when she realized it was me waking her had my cock doing all sorts of shit under my pants.
I willed the thought of Sloane out of my mind so I could focus on the task at hand and get out of here.
Lorcan’s men finally moved out of the room and he focused on us again.
“Turns out Ronan fled the country after Sinead and Darren were killed. Seems we have a little while before he comes for us again.”
“We can’t just give up,” I aimed at him. “Come on, look what he’s fucking done because we didn’t go after him when we should have.”
“Sit down, Killian.”
I hadn’t realized I’d gotten up until he’d said that. I calmly sat down and tried to focus my attention on not losing my shit.
