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She’d taken a gamble helping me before. One she could have paid for with her life. And still, she helped me.
“You couldn’tseethat either?” I don’t know if I mean it as a joke or a jab; it just comes out flat.
But she answers it anyway. “The Sight is often misunderstood. Visions come and go as they please, and though we can go searching with a question, sometimes the answers do not want to be found. My sight has been…murkier as of late than it ever has been. For this, I cannot see clearly enough for any answers you might seek.”
“Murky?”
“As I said, seers have their limits, and there are…obstacles. Whatever—or whoever—is blocking my sight, I cannot see around it.”
“What could do that? What could block your sight?”
She shrugs. “Many things. Other seers, factors too volatile to predict, certain spells. When we interfere, a domino effect can occur, and sometimes the results are changing too rapidly to catch a glimpse.”
Her eyes laser focus on my hands as I slowly return to my seat and dig the book out of my bag. I flip to the spell and push it toward her. “So then tell me why the hell I’m here.”
“You are certainly Rosemarie’s daughter,” she murmurs under her breath as she pulls the book closer to examine the page. “I imagine she suspected you would need help procuring the ingredients.”
I shove the tea aside and lean my forearms on the table. The time for word games and vague answers has long since passed. “You must know more than that.”
“As I said, when it’s time to collect your ingredients, you will find what you need here. Some, but not all.”
When it’s time.As if me performing that spell is inevitable.
“You will have a choice to make.” She pushes the book back, apparently done with it, and gets up to refill her tea. “One life or another. It will be in your hands.”
One life or another. She must mean the sacrifice. But then who is theother? As a seer, if anyone would know this outcome, it’s her.
“Have you seen the other ways this could play out? If I don’t go through with this.”
Her smile is thin as she returns to her seat. “You are looking for an easier solution. Something fair and right and just. But war rarely lets us hold on to our humanity. The choice is yours to make. And taking no action is also a choice.”
V said something similar to me yesterday.You might think you’re taking the noble route.
There’s a knowing glint in Magnolia’s eyes as she says it, but she also always looks like she’s seeing directly into my soul. How much has she seen? Does she know about V?
“What can you tell me about the shadow realm, or our shadow selves?”
She shows no reaction to the change in subject, as if this next question was exactly what she’d been expecting.
“The veil between our world and the shadow realm is less concrete for those closer to dark magic. Its essence calls to our blood. Which may make crossing the boundary easier, but it can also suck you in, make it harder to return.” She gives me a knowing look. “To use you as a conduit to bring pieces of itself over.”
“And if something did?” I whisper. “Cross over with you?”
“Shadow selves are often times the darkest parts of oneself in full expression. And their development hinges on the decisions you’ve made on this side. The parts of yourself you’ve suppressed, the choices you’ve made, your shadow self has experienced the opposite. They are the parts of you that you didn’t let yourself become. Because their existence is so dependent on you, they wouldn’t do anything to put you in real jeopardy. Not if it could potentially harm them. But…”
“Anything else is fair game.”
Anyoneelse.
“I would advise you to exercise caution, Valerie Darkmore.” There’s an unreadable look on her face as she searches mine. “Once a shadow self has a taste of our side, they will show no restraint to prevent going back.”
“Why? Why would they even want to be on this side?”
Magnolia shakes her head, the crease between her eyebrows deepening. “Because if they can manage to switch places with you—them on our side, and you in the shadows—they would no longer be at the mercy of the effects of your choices. You would be at the mercy of theirs.”
* * *
The Auclair estatelibrary is twice the size of the Carrington’s, which gives me twice the chance of finding what I need, but also twice the amount of information to sift through. If nothing else, I have the few books Magnolia lent me tucked under my arm.
