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“Why?” My question comes out more like a whoosh of air than a word. “Why would you do that?”
“I just told you why.”
Oh, he thinks that makes sense to me? It doesn’t. I’ve never once done anything that should have given him that impression. I’ve always given him the benefit of the doubt. Hell, I’ve risked my career in doing so, and he never once divulged the details of that first night.
Fucking Christ. I don’t know what to make of all of this.
I take a step back, disgusted with him for the first time. My expression must show it because the shock in his eyes makes him stumble back, hitting the doorframe.
“Was it your plan to get me pregnant then?”
“What? No,” he whispers and I’m about tired of watching his head shake. “I don’t plan on having kids—ever.”
For some reason that comment feels like a slap in the face, making my empty stomach plummet to the floor.
“Really?” My words come out harsh. “Because lack of protection often leads to knocking a woman up, or is that not something you learned before now?”
“I figured you were on birth control.”
“I’m not. Not that you ever asked.” Birth control makes me sick, so I haven’t taken it since my early twenties. “And forget about that; what about diseases?”
“I’m clean.”
“And you somehow know my medical history then?” He just stares at me, making it damn near impossible to tamp down my anger. “What in God’s name made you think I see you the same as I see Vincent Acerbi? What have I ever done that led you to believe that?”
“Nothing.”
“Then fucking help me out here. Why? Why the urge to make medirtyand have to fuck me out of your system?”
“It’s not an excuse, Bri, but every local cop I’ve ever encountered has treated me like I’m just likehimand I figured you were just like the rest of them. What I did was wrong. I knew it the second the thought of fucking you bareback came to my mind. It felt malicious when I bathed you afterward, and then fucked you again in the shower. I’ve known it was wrong from the beginning.”
“Why haven’t you come clean before now? You know me now. You’ve known me long enough to know how I feel. So why?” His head falls back against the wood of the doorjamb, looking up at the white ceiling above us, blinking repeatedly. “Drago!”
“Because when I woke up with you in my bed that next morning, all I wanted to do was keep you in it.” His head rolls forward, our eyes locking again. “I never lied when I told you I liked you. And that has only morphed into something much more.”
What the fuck am I supposed to do with all of this on top of everything else?
Jesus fucking Christ, this is fucked-up.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Two days have passed with no additional information on Gabriel’s whereabouts. Statistics show if a child isn’t located within the first forty-eight hours the chances of finding them are substantially lower.
My mind has been completely focused on him, so I won’t allow other thoughts to break through. And since I’ve only spoken a couple of words here and there to Drago, my missing little angel consumes most of my thoughts.
I have to do something. I need to do something. I can’t continue laying in Drago’s bedrestinglike he keeps asking me to do. It’s driving me mad. It would drive anyone mad I’d imagine, but me—I’m not used to resting. It feels like a lifetime ago that I’ve even had a good workout but I know I haven’t recovered enough to get back to the gym. Which reminds me, I need to shoot Nikki a text message. Since it’s the week of a holiday, she probably hasn’t given it much thought that I’ve missed a workout this morning.
Thanksgiving.
It’s usually a holiday I enjoy. I’ve only missed one Thanksgiving event at Jackson’s house since becoming a police officer.
The mere thought of my brother and his family—my family—has me missing them. I know I won’t be able to dodge my sister-in-law’s calls much longer. There are only so many text messages she’ll accept before she get suspicious. Not coming home is going to be a red flag to not only her, but my brother too.
I can’t.
Right now, today, I don’t feel thankful for a damn thing and I hate that I feel that way. I have my life when I shouldn’t, yet, I can’t bring myself to feel grateful while Gabriel is still missing and my baby...
I shut my eyes, closing them as tight as I can.
