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“You can change into something from the dresser if you don’t want to sleep in this tattered thing,” he says, eyeing my outfit. “Rest. You’ve been through a great deal tonight. I’ll go check on your friend and make sure she gets home safely.”
“Can’t I go with you?” I ask, protesting against the fatigue settling into my limbs. Nothing sounds better than a nap, but I want to see Cara. It’s my fault she’s in this mess in the first place, and I need to make sure she’s okay. I also need to make sure she’ll forgive me for dragging her into all of this.
I can’t stand the thought of losing someone else close to me, especially since I just got her back in my life.
Rather than writing off my concerns immediately, Ignatius’ brows knit together and his eyes soften with empathy. It’s still strange seeing him in this form, regardless of the familiarity I feel when I look at him, but I can tell he feels bad for me. Not that I wanted a pity party, but I’m glad he understands.
“I’ll be much faster on my own, and you’ll be safer here,” he explains. “Besides, you need your rest–”
“Just say you don’t want to babysit me.” I grumble and kick off my shoes by the wall. I’m surprised I was still wearing them, but the shock of everything made me numb to the pain in my feet. “I’m just a liability.”
“That’s not it, Devyn.” His voice is too tender, too full of compassion to not strike a chord in my chest.
“I’m so sick of being useless,” I say, forcing myself to look at him. “That’s all I’ve been since I stepped through that portal: useless. I can’t fight. I can’t use magic. Everyone is constantly worrying about me and trying to keep me safe, and I’m sick of it.”
Our gazes remain locked as silence falls over the room. I know I’m probably whining because I’m tired and hurting, but what I said is true. I don’t want to be a damsel in distress anymore.
“I want to be useful,” I admit, unable to stop the word vomit. “I want to fight. I don’t want my mates to have to send me away because they’re worried about how frail I am. Is that too much to ask, Ignatius?”
He walks around me to the dresser and pulls open one of the drawers, retrieving a pair of sleep pants and a T-shirt before laying them on the foot of the bed. I watch him silently, desperate for an answer.
“Usefulness doesn’t always equate physical strength,” he says. “You are essential in ways that you can’t begin to understand. It might just not feel like it right now.”
“Like what?” My voice comes out much harsher than I intend, but I’m craving an explanation. What good can I possibly do if I’m constantly kept locked up like a princess to protect me from harm? What purpose can I serve if I’m nothing more than a liability? “How can I possibly help in any of this?”
He takes a seat on the foot on the bed and folds his hands in his lap. He’s clearly in no hurry to go check on Cara, which could be a good or bad thing, but I’m glad he’s taking his time answering my questions, rather than brushing me off and leaving me alone once again.
“Consider a flower. It buds, it blooms, it reproduces, and then it eventually wilts. You’re wanting to be in full bloom when you’re still just a bud. There’s nothing wrong with a bud. In fact, it’s crucial to the life cycle of the flower because nothing else can happen without it. No bloom, no spores, no wilt.
You spent your entire life not knowing this magic that lives within you, not knowing of another world that exists just beyond yours,” he goes on without missing a beat. “You can’t expect to master everything and take on a hoard of Malevolents in such a short amount of time, and you shouldn’t fault yourself for it.”
The corners of my eyes begin to sting again, and this time I know it’s from exhaustion. He’s right, as much as I hate to admit it. I need to give myself more grace and have more patience.
“Now rest,” he says, getting to his feet and heading for the door. “I’ll be back soon and we can talk more because I’m sure you have more questions.”
With a wink, he closes the door behind him.
I barely change into the clothes he sat aside before my eyelids begin to droop, and sleep pulls me under the second my head hits the pillow.
ChapterTwenty-Four
DEVYN
Commotion.
There are forms running this way and that, bodies laying in crumpled heaps on the blackened ground, and an explosion of roars and growls erupts around me.
It’s nighttime, the field only faintly illuminated by the moonlight overhead, but I can see there’s been a bloodbath. My stomach pitches toward the ground, my throat tightening.
What the hell is happening?
In the distance, a pair of monsters clash, attacking one another with brute force and razor-sharp claws. Blood spurts, one of the monsters crumpling to the ground, and the victor lets out a blood-curdling screech.
My eyes swing around, taking in the brutal fighting going on around me, and reality finally sets in. They’re not all monsters. There are Malevolent demons throughout the swarm.
Thisis the war everyone was prepping for.
And I’ve been caught in the middle of it.
