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“Fucking try it, dickbag.” Whip’s eyes blazed with challenge, and my fist ached to connect with his smug jaw.
“Whoa. Hey. Enough!” Brooklyn was inches shorter than either of us, but she wedged her way between us, planting her hands on our chests and prying us apart. “Back the fuck up!”
We each took a step back but continued to stare the other down.
“You both know better than to bring that petty rivalry shit in here.”
We did, but I couldn’t find it in me to care. There was a gaping hole in the center of my chest where Annie had ripped my heart out, and getting into a scrap with Whip felt like a damn good way to ignore it.
Brooklyn raised her chin. “Shut it down before Chief comes in here and slaps a suspension on both your asses.”
Whip shook his head and turned his back to me to leave. Keyed up, I continued to stare at him.
“Hey,” Brooklyn said, her voice lowering for only me to hear. “What the hell, Lee?”
“He pushed my buttons. One of these days I’m not going to hold back.”
She shook her head, my chest still heaving with rapid breaths and her hand grounding me. “You’ve always been able to ignore his overinflated ego. What is going on with you?”
My jaw clenched. How could I possibly explain that the bottom had dropped out of my entire world, and despite the fact that my best friend and the woman I was in love with had completely eviscerated my heart, all I could think about was how much I missed her?
“I’m fine,” I ground out.
She scoffed. “Well, go be fine over there. I have shit to do and can’t spend my shift babysitting you two idiots.”
With one last petty glare at the back of Whip’s retreating head, I snagged my towel and strode out of the station’s workout room. I walked down the hallway and realized I’d taken a wrong turn somewhere. Instead of heading to the showers, I found myself at the end of a corridor outside my lieutenant’s office and bunk. A large window overlooked the truck bay, where our trucks and ambulances waited at the ready.
Truck thirty-eight was my favorite, and on the dash was a small hula girl figurine. I had found it in my freezer, and the best part was that she was poorly made, with only three fingers on each hand and her painted eyes pointed in different directions. After she joined us on a call for a five-car pileup on the interstate outside of town, the crew had dubbed her a lucky charm, and she’d sat proudly on the dash for years. The sun had faded her green grass skirt, but her wonky eyes still stared you down when she bobbled.
I looked at the tiny figurine. The past few weeks had been perfect, like the misshapen pieces of my life had finally started to fit together. No more shoving them into place or cutting off different parts to make it fit. With Annie, it just clicked.
I braced my hands on the window frame and let my head hang. Flashes of the past few months assaulted me. Painful reminders of how Annie’s laughter turned into moans as I kissed her. The feel of her skin as I committed every inch to memory. Whispering tender words in the safety of my darkened bedroom.
“Hey, man. You okay?” Connor’s concerned voice came up behind me, and I straightened.
Blowing out a breath, I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
“Brooklyn said you blew up at Whip.”
“He’s a prick.”
Connor laughed. “You two are worse than an old married couple. Don’t let him get under your skin. Is it about Annie?”
My chest ached at the sound of her name. “Yeah, it’s ... complicated.”
He scoffed. “Of course it is. Every relationship is complicated. But, come on, you’re Lee Sullivan. Nothing gets to you, man.”
I turned to him and leaned against the window, crossing my ankles, his words sinking in and deepening my frustrations.Let it roll off your back. Lee Sullivan doesn’t give a shit about anything. He never takes life too seriously.
My friend had no idea of the man I was. I’d never let him or anyone else in this town see below the surface. But she knew. Annie would always hold space for me and all my moods, while everyone else just wanted me to be the happy-go-lucky guy. The man with the jokes. The life of the party.
It was fucking exhausting.
I shook my head and took a chance on opening up to my friend. “This is different. We’ve got some old, painful history, and some things came to light that she’d been keeping from me. Big things.”
He let my words soak in and leaned against the wall. “That’s rough, man. Why do you think she didn’t tell you?”
Annie had brought up Margo more in the last few weeks than she had in a decade. Every time I’d found a way to stop her—to ignore the pang of guilt I felt. She’d tried to tell me, several times, in fact. With painful clarity I could see the uncertainty swirling in her blue eyes, and I did what I always did. Ichoseto ignore it. I didn’t want to see what I already knew ... I took advantage of the fact that Annie was mine for the auction dates and used it as an excuse to break the rules of our friendship. Whenever she had tried to open herself to me, I had shut it down.
