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“Is he qualified to fly this plane?”
Max turned to me, pointing at me with his cigar between his fingers. “I’ll have you know I am a highly qualified pilot. I used to fly all the time in the war.”
By the looks of him, he had been drunk for the past ten years. “Which war exactly?”
He waved his hand at me as he continued to prep the plane. “You know, the one where they were shooting at everyone.”
I turned to Scottie with wide eyes and grabbed him by the shirt. “Go fly the plane!”
He tore my hands from his shirt, shaking his head furiously. “You never fly another man’s plane. Are you fucking insane? That’s bad luck!”
“You’re just scared of flying!”
“Exactly! Which is why he’s flying the plane!”
“Are we all in? I’m leaving!” Max shouted.
“There’s nowhere to sit,” Kavanaugh said, turning to me in horror. “There are only four seats!”
IKE, Sarah, Red, and IRIS had already strapped in, which left Kavanaugh, Scottie, and me with nowhere to sit. I grabbed onto the back of the pilot’s seat as we started moving much faster than this hunk of junk should be going.
“That’s it, baby. Purr for me,” Max said lovingly to his plane.
“Where did you find this guy?” I shouted to Scottie over the engines.
“He came highly recommended by the locals.”
“The locals are trying to kill us,” I retorted.
Max glanced over his shoulder, smirking at us. “Relax, I’ve kept this baby well-maintained since she retired.”
I couldn’t have heard him right. “Retired? Retired from what?”
He chuckled at me like this was all so fucking hilarious. “From production. They stopped making these things in the early ’80s.”
“The eighties? Do you know what they’ve done with technology since then?” I said in exasperation. “We’re going to fucking die!”
“Oh, relax. I know what I’m doing,” he said as he pulled back on the yoke and we started to lift off.
“This is not the way you’re supposed to fly!” Kavanaugh shouted, trying desperately to hold onto something.
“Look on the bright side. At least there are no mummies,” Red chuckled.
I screamed as we climbed higher and higher in the air. I was pretty sure no plane was supposed to climb this high this fast. My feet were barely staying on the ground.
“What are you doing?”
“I have to lose them,” Max said. Then the plane started to turn. My body went airborne as the sky became the ground.
“Holy shit!” Kavanaugh shouted. “We’re going to die!”
“Ugh, I don’t feel so good,” Scottie groaned, clutching his stomach as the plane rolled again. He fell to the floor of the plane, then threw up. But his vomit didn’t stay down as we rolled again. “This plane is not meant to go upside down!”
Max laughed uproariously. “That’s what they say about everything. It’ll be fine!”
And that was the moment I knew we were fucked. No good thing ever happened after someone said everything would be fine. I gripped the back of his seat tighter as the plane took a sudden dip. He started tapping on the panel, frowning as he started fidgeting with things.
“Huh.”
