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“That’s never good,” Scottie burped.
“What does huh mean?”
“It means gosh darn, oops, dagnabit,” Max said over his shoulder. “Or if you prefer…oh fuck.”
Kavanaugh was near tears as he shook his head. “I don’t like oh fuck. Let’s go back to gosh darn. It has a nicer ring to it.”
“Nicer or not, this plane is going down!” Max said, standing from the pilot’s seat and shoving past us.
“What are you doing?” I shouted. “You’re supposed to be flying the plane!”
“Yeah, the plane’s going to crash.”
My mouth opened, but not a sound came out. I looked at Sarah, thinking I was going to have to calm her down, but she was unusually serene. I clawed my way over to her and knelt so I could see her face.
“It’s going to be okay,” I said, taking her hand in mine.
“I know,” she nodded.
“You know the plane is going to crash, right?”
“Oh, well, that seems par for the course, don’t you think? But you know, I’m very lucky. All my close encounters have left me in the position to die quickly. It’s a good thing.”
The longer I stared at her, the more I wanted to get away from her. She was insane. Nobody was this calm in the face of death, and I worked with a bunch of guys that made a living out of cracking jokes in times of peril.
I got up and rushed the two feet over to Max. “What’s the plan?”
“See this?” he said, pulling out a big yellow thing.
“Yeah.”
“We’re gonna pull this tab and it’s going to blow up.”
“In the plane?”
He grinned, tossing back his head and laughing. “In the—man, you crack me up. Of course not. It won’t fit in the plane. This plane wasn’t designed to carry more than five people.”
“Then why did you let us all on here?” I snapped.
“Should I have left you behind?”
I thought it over. Sure, I would be in prison by now in a foreign territory, but at least I would be alive. Cash would find a way to get me out. Months of torture, I could handle. This was certain death.
“Yes!”
“Oh,” he frowned, then slapped me on the arm. “Well, sorry I ruined your plans. Better luck next time.”
“There is no next time!” I turned and grabbed Scottie, hauling him to his feet. “Go fix the plane!”
“Sure, let me just push you out first.”
“What?”
He grabbed me by the cheeks and squeezed. “We’re overloaded! This plane is ancient! There is no way we’re not going down!”
I turned and looked out the windshield, watching as the ground slowly came up to meet us. And there wasn’t a fucking thing I could do about it.
“Alright, listen up, people!” Max shouted. “Now, when the plane is about to hit the water, we’re all going to jump out of the plane. Then we’ll get in this raft and wait for someone to rescue us. If you jump too soon, you’ll hit the water like concrete, so…try not to do that.”
