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“Me too,” I tell him honestly.
I barely slept last night, tossing and turning and wondering what it would be like once I got here. If we would be able to pick up from where we left off all those years ago or if the damage makes us beyond repair.
“Will you let me take you out on a date?”
It takes a minute for his words to sink in, the realization of what he’s asking still a surprise. He’d been open about wanting to make things right with me and wanting forgiveness for the hurt he’s caused. After all the years of keeping his feelings hidden, it still surprises me he’s so open.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Why?”
I spin around to face him, reaching under the collar of my coat to pull my hair out. “I think that maybe we are meant to be friends. And friends are good. I can handle being friends.”
I think.
He takes a step forward, causing me to take one back to keep some sort of distance between us. He leans in, raising an arm to press against the wall behind me.
“Jenna,” he starts, “I should have asked you out a long time ago. And because I didn’t, because I chickened out and made excuses, look what happened.” His eyes study my face, searching for a reaction. “I’m not messing around this time. I meant it when I said I’d do anything for a chance to prove that to you. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”
“Since when are you so open about your feelings?”
The corner of his mouth ticks up in an almost smile. “Since the day I lost you.”
I want to believe his words. For the better part of our relationship, I would have believed anything he said, thinking he would never lie to me. But the heart can only handle so much, and right now, I can’t let myself get hurt again.
“And what if all I can give you is friendship?”
He watches my face for a moment, looking for any sign that I may give in, that I might lean forward and test the waters between us. But when he sees I won’t, that my stubborn streak is still as strong as ever, he says, “If that’s all you can give, I’ll take it. It’s not what I want, but I’ll accept that.” He drops his arm and steps back, giving a breath of space between us. “But keep in mind, Jenna, I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll be dead before I ever hurt you again. But if friends is all you can give me right now, then friends it is.”
Chapter Fourteen
Iswipe my badge through the reader as the clock chirps five-fifty-eight. “Damn, two minutes early.”
There are some people who get to work twenty minutes early, who like to sit and sip their coffee and slowly peruse the patient charts. That isn’t me. If my shift starts at six, that’s when I’ll arrive. I prefer to roll with the punches and figure things out as I go. It isn’t the most conventional, but it’s worked as my go-to method for the last five years as a nurse, so I won’t be changing any time soon.
My phone buzzes in my purse as I push through the heavy double doors and swing left, walking down the still-dark hall toward the nurse’s station.
I should be annoyed with how fast I smile when I see it’s Emmett’s name. I shouldn’t get butterflies in my stomach all over again, but he’s been texting regularly since I went over there for dinner and it’s the same each time.
His name. Smile. Butterflies.
Anytime I hear anyone’s phone vibrate I’m going to instantly smile; soon he will have me trained like Pavlov's dog.
Emmett: Every night since you’ve been over, Allie makes me sing that Frozen song when we do our bedtime routine. Shoulder shimmy included.
Emmett: She wants to know when her best friend is coming back over.
I never thought I’d say this, and not so quickly, but I freaking love that girl. It only took one day of hanging out with her, and I’m convinced that kids are better than most adults. When people say kids are the worst, it’s probably coming from the mouths of crabby adults who hate their lives, their job, are mad about the weather or their golf game, and don’t know how to have fun. Or someone like the person I used to be, who hadn’t ever spent time with a child before. Seeing someone’s tired and pissed-off toddler in the grocery store aisle isn’t the same as spending one-on-one time with a kid. If they took the time to see life through the eyes of a two-year-old, I think people would be a lot happier.
Me: I’ll let you in on a few other dance moves I have stored so you can mix it up from time to time.
Me: I’ve been thinking of Allie a lot, and I meant it when I said if you ever need a last-minute sitter to let me know. Or a sitter in general. Or if you have a hot date, I’d be happy to be the one that hangs out with her.
As soon as I hit send, I cringe at myself. The last thing I want is to see him go on a date with someone else, and knowing me, the moment he starts thinking romantic thoughts about a girl I’d be fast on my way to moving ten states away. But I need to remind him that friendship is the only thing I can offer.
Emmett: The only date I plan on going on in the future is with you, when you’re ready.
I toss my phone into my bag, not ready to respond to that text so early in the morning, or to Emmett’s blatant honesty in general.
