AllFreeNovel
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I can’t. She won’t listen. “You’re my best friend, but so is she. Just…be there for her. She needs somewhere to stay and she’ll be safe at your house from everything except hideous concept art and your random hookups.” I can’t pull off the light tone I’m going for and it comes out sounding mean.
Nic points a finger at me in warning, but I think we’ve both had our fill. He doesn’t bust my nuts again over the harmless little chair gymnastics and I don’t ask him to put Mina in a hotel so she won’t have to suffer through the purgatory aesthetic of his house.
The door closes with a finality that makes my skin itch. I don’t know what to do with myself, but I need to move. Something grabs hold of me and I march out onto my balcony. The rail is cold under my hands. It would be easy to swing my legs over and cannonball into the pool. Simply because I want to. Because I know I can do it and I won’t hurt myself and I’m so fucking angry.
Instead, I take a deep breath and let it out in a scream loud enough I’ll probably get a police check-in courtesy of the neighbors.
I go back into the house, but I can’t stay in this room. Not when my pillows smell like Mina’s shampoo and her dirty clothes are in my hamper. I go downstairs, but I can’t look at the couch without remembering our first time.
My house is hers. My heart is hers. I don’t know what to do with either now that she doesn’t want them.
I stomp down to the basement. I don’t bother to turn on the lights, just wrap a throw blanket around my shoulders and flop on the couch.
She’s gone. She’s my best friend, and she walked out and I have never once in the five years I’ve known her thought she could do that to me. Not Mina.
Does no one on this planet understand me? I’m not complicated.
I thought Mina could see through everything everyone thinks they know about me, into my gooey center where she found something worthwhile. She told me I’m more than my old job, more than the things I do for fun.
All I am to her is a walking risk. She never saw me at all.
I wake disoriented and alone in the dark, my phone buzzing in my pocket.
There’s one moment of breathing space before reality crashes in on me and I remember Mina’s gone, probably forever. My mom’s pissed at me. Nic too.
I have no job. No life.
Everything sucks the big one.
When I see Nic’s number on the screen, I greedily swipe to accept the call. My voice fails when I answer, coming out in a croak. “How is she?”
“Crying in her room. I’m assuming your mom told her about your stupid Floor is Lava bullshit,” he says.
Even alone in the dark, I wince. “Yeah.”
“And did you learn your lesson?”
That sounds snarky and condescending, and it pisses me off. “Yeah. The love of my life left me. Turns out she never really knew me.”
“Yeah, sounds about right.” Nic’s voice is so thick with sarcasm I want to reach through the phone and hit him.
“She wants me to be someone else.”
“No, she wants you to be yourself. You can do that without trying to prove you’re indestructible.”
I grab the nearest throw pillow and put it over my head. “You don’t get it either.” It’s not about proving myself or having something to brag about. Those are perks—can’t deny it—but they aren’t why I do things.
“Explain it.”
The demand catches me by surprise, and for about thirty seconds I toy with whether to answer it. Finally, I sigh and decide to go with the truth. “I get twitchy.”
“You get twitchy,” he repeats, his voice flat.
I blow out a frustrated breath. Why am I bothering? He still won’t understand. “Certain activities help me focus and find a sense of calm, making me feel better. More relaxed.”
Not sure, but I think I hear him grinding his teeth over the phone. “Run a fucking marathon and take up meditation. You don’t need to hurtle yourself through the air to get some exercise.”
“A marathon doesn’t sound fun.” It sounds like chafed nipples.
