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Sebastian slipped his feet into a pair of sandals, and we rushed out the door.
“Are you nervous at all? Are you okay with doctors?” Sebastian peppered me with questions throughout the car ride; it reinforced how little we knew about each other. I gulped, feeling a sudden wave of anxiety. Our relationship was still so new. What made me so sure we could co-parent together? Even though we started planning this engagement two years ago, we’d only really known each other for about five months, give or take.
What if we got divorced? How would our future baby cope with having divorced parents? Didn’t that automatically fuck up a kid’s sense of attachment? Was this kid doomed from the start?
I tried to quiet the anxious thoughts in my head by observing the highway speeding by. Sebastian had the windows open. The scent of fresh grass was soothing.
“I’m fine with doctors; they don’t bother me at all. I’m good with blood and needles, all that stuff. I don’t even flinch during shots. The first time I got blood drawn, the nurse was impressed.”
“Wow, you’re way braver than I am. I can’t stand needles. I have to look away whenever I get a shot. I’m not great with blood, either. It makes me queasy. I can’t even watch scary movies.”
“Well, there goes our Freddie and Jason Halloween costume,” I joked.
Sebastian laughed. “I’ve never actually done a couples costume for Halloween.”
“Me neither. We’ll have to think of something cute for us that also incorporates little Becca. Maybe I can be an avocado.”
“So, what does that make me, toast?”
“You said it, not me.”
Sebastian pulled into the parking lot of Dover Women’s Health, a squat brown brick building with a nondescript sign on the door. We walked in hand-in-hand. Sebastian gave my hand a supportive squeeze as I talked to the receptionist, and she handed me a clipboard full of paperwork to fill out.
I sat on a tan chair covered in scratchy fabric that itched the back of my thighs and tried to remember most of my medical history. All around me, women in various states of pregnancy and postpartum sat hunched over similar clipboards while their partners scrolled through their phones and tried to look useful. One woman distracted her baby by handing them a toy while she tried to scribble down her history. Another rested the clipboard on her bulging belly.
“Rebecca?” A nurse in blush pink scrubs called. I got up and followed the nurse into a stark exam room. Sebastian followed me. The walls were painted a supposedly soothing blue. A different nurse took my blood and instructed me to pee in a cup. I obliged, and fifteen minutes later, it was confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. Despite the overwhelming suspicion that my mother might try and kill me, I was genuinely relieved.
“Now we know!” Sebastian said, pressing a kiss onto my forehead.
“Now we know,” I repeated.
“Carly can get you set up with an ultrasound here in a couple of minutes,” the nurse said. She noted a couple of things on a clipboard and disappeared. A few minutes later, a different nurse appeared, wheeling a machine on a cart behind her.
“Hi, I’m Carly. I’ll be performing your ultrasound today. Go ahead and change into this gown and then hop onto the table,” she explained, handing me a papery hospital gown. She left the room while I changed. I laid back on the table and placed my feet in the vinyl stirrups. I was anxious. For some reason, even my feet were sweating. They kept slipping in the stirrups. I felt prone and vulnerable. Sebastian stood next to my head. He held his hand out, and I took it and squeezed.
Carly returned and wheeled the ultrasound cart next to me. “I’m going to be inserting this wand into your vagina so we can take a peek at your baby,” she said, trying to remain cheery as she presented a massive plastic wand that had little to no hope of fitting inside of me. She handed Sebastian a sheet to drape over my legs. I instinctively moved to close them; there was no way that thing would fit inside of me; it made Sebastian look like a shrimp!
“Are you sure it’ll fit?” I asked nervously.
Carly nodded. “Yes, you’ll do fine. Now, breathe in deep for me.” I took a deep breath and squeezed Sebastian’s hand so hard it was like I was trying to pulverize the bones.
“Wonderful,” Carly cooed; her voice was sickly sweet. I grit my teeth as she moved the wand around, feeling it deep inside me.
“Oh,” Carly noted. Her tone darkened. Immediately, I popped my head up and careened my neck to try and get a better look at the screen.
“Oh? What do you mean, oh? Is something—"
“No, honey, nothing’s wrong. It’s twins,” Carly explained. My jaw dropped to the floor as I sat up on my elbows and peeked at the fuzzy ultrasound machine screen. Sure enough, there were two very distinct separate alien blips on the screen, each with its own skeletons.
“Twins? In the plural?” Sebastian screamed, lurching over me to look at the screen.
Carly nodded. “Yep. One, two,” she counted, pointing at the screen.
“It looks like you’re right at ten weeks,” Carly added. I nodded numbly, still trying to process the fact that, at this moment, I was growing multiple sets of organs. No wonder I was starving!
Sebastian looked dazed. He blinked and let out a low whistle. “Two bikes. Two sports teams. Two cars. Two sweet sixteens! Oh, Jesus Christ, Becca! We’ll have to put two people through college and probably at least one through grad school!” Sebastian blubbered.
Despite my precarious position, I laughed. “That’s what you’re worried about? Funding a Ph.D. program?”
