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Something flips in my gut, and my gaze is drawn back to the little pill. It’s so innocent, sitting there on the counter and minding its own business. I find myself being pulled in its direction.
Am I no better than a drug addict chasing a high?
I tell myself it’s different as I pick up the pill and place it on my tongue.
Instead of swallowing it right away, gulping it down with water, I let it start to dissolve. The bitterness feels more right than anything else. When I can’t take it anymore, I swallow it down with the wine. I focus back on Jacob and silently cheers him.
He’ll get what he wanted, in whatever form that comes.
It doesn’t take long for my eyelids to grow heavy. I’m blinking slower. Still standing—or more braced, really, with my forearms on the counter—but caving. I slide to the floor and crawl, on my hands and knees, to the rug in front of the couch.
I’m alone, and my nakedness has never felt so loud.
But that doesn’t stop me from falling asleep anyway.
49
JACOB
Knox waits for me outside. I raise my eyebrows on my way by, and he joins me.
“You holding a grudge?” I ask.
He laughs. “Me? Nah.”
“What’s up?”
And by that I mean,What are you doing in Denver?He doesn’t live here. And analyzing his outfit, he kind of looks like he slept on the sidewalk. He’s wearing gray sweatpants and that black cap pulled low over his face. A black, logo-less hoodie. He’s got nothing with him, or on him. So maybe he got a hotel, or he just flew here to talk to me.
“Want to get a drink?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I can’t tonight. We’re flying to LA tomorrow afternoon.”
That’s just an excuse. I’mdyingto get home. My brief peek at the cameras revealed Melody leaning on the kitchen counter, watching the muted television. Naked. So, fair to say my dick immediately responded to that. And it’s been threatening to burst the zipper of my slacks ever since.
“Do you think Melody will regain her memory enough to teach again?” Knox asks. “Has she shown that she’s remembering anything?”
That’s out of left field. “She’s remembered some things. Will it all come back? I have no idea.”
He grunts.
“Why?” I question.
“Can I talk to her?”
I stop.
He continues for another few steps, until he’s realized he left me behind. He whirls around and meets my quizzical expression. He tilts his head. “I just want her opinion on something.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Yeah.” He nods to himself. “Yeah, I just, you know. She’s an English professor. She knows her shit.”
He’s acting fucking weird.
I tell him so, then add, “Shewasan English professor, asshole. You want to bring up that she’s not anymore?”
“It’s still in there.”
