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Morgan scoffs. “Hardly, but I thought he’d be eager to fill the gap. Not that we had a romantic relationship for him to rebound from. It just seemed that he would realize his mistake in letting you go to begin with. Why did it take you this long to get back together?”
I drag in a slow breath while deciding how much to reveal. The scent of rich coffee calms my jitters. “Jake wasn’t interested until recently.”
She pins me with a flat stare. “I find that hard to believe.He never got over you, Harper.”
“Well, that’s reassuring. I’ve been pining for him just the same.”
“But you only recently started dating again.” There’s no question in her tone. Even while living two states away, she’s connected to the latest Knox Creek updates.
“It was more like he didn’t want Sydney to feel neglected,” I amend.
“By giving her a real mother she can rely on,” Morgan deadpans.
That response makes me pause. My heartbeat launches off at a gallop. “Is that how you see me?”
She averts her gaze, finding a random spot to stare at over my shoulder. “Jake took to his fatherly role without hesitation. I didn’t accept parenthood like that. Maybe it makes me a shitty human, but being a mother wasn’t a natural instinct for me.”
“I’ve heard that’s fairly common. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”
“That’s what I originally told myself too. If only those impulses kicked in eventually. I can’t explain this… defect in my system, but I’m not sure that’s necessary anymore. Some people just aren’t cut out to be parents.” Morgan gestures to herself.
Fear of saying the wrong thing clamps a vise around my vocal cords. This is another slippery slope I’ll more than likely tumble down. But maybe she just needs me to hear her side and remove some weight off her chest in the process. That appears to be the correct course of action based on her relieved sigh.
“It’s physically painful to feel detached while holding your baby. I talked to a slew of doctors and therapists. Their answers didn’t fix the void. It didn’t take much for me to acknowledge that this isn’t a temporary illness with a cure. When a mother is away from her child, she should miss them.” Morgan sucks in an uneven breath. “Don’t assume the worst of me. I do miss Sydney. I think about her often and hope she’s doing well. But my concern is fleeting. It’s not the vital extreme an absent parent should harbor. A big part of me believes that I’ve been able to separate myself because she’s in very capable hands.”
I probably resemble a statue, but the mention of Jake yanks a response from me. “Have you talked to him about this?”
She sucks air between her teeth. “That’s a negative. He’s not very… supportive when it comes to me.”
“But this explains your lack of involvement,” I reason.
“Would it matter? Jake is fully capable of parenting Sydney on his own.”
“But your daughter…” I trail off before causing offense.
“Is fine without me,” Morgan finishes.
“He’s an incredible father,” I choose as a safe reply. This entire discussion is very foreign territory.
She exhales while moisture gleams in her eyes. “I’m so relieved, Harper.”
“So am I,” I admit.
Her eyebrow quirks. “Did you see this conversation going differently?”
“Um, yeah. To be honest, I figured you hated me.”
Morgan’s laughter eases the tension needling me. “That’s hilarious. If anything, I admire you.”
I nearly topple off my chair. “How is that possible?”
Her hand rests on top of mine. “I’m also grateful for you.”
Heat springs to my eyes faster than I can blink. “Why?”
“You’re doing what I can’t. I’ll never be mother material, but you proved to be exactly what she needs in the five minutes I witnessed.It comes naturally to you, just like it’s meant to be.”
I sniff at the burn in my nose. “Do you really mean that?”
