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“Cole, he might have said the thing you feared the most. But youdidthe thing I feared the most.” She crosses her arms. I think she’s trying to look tough, but to me it just looks like she’s trying to protect her heart.
Against me.
She raises her chin, stubborn. “I told you how I’ve gotten rejected, over and over again, by men and jobs. I wanted to start my own company, just so I could protect myself from someone else destroying my fate.”
For the first time, I let myself feel the magnitude of what I did to her. “Amelia, I’m so sorry. But I swear, you can trust me. I’ll never do that again. You can trust me.”
But she’s shaking her head, like she doesn’t believe me.
“You said that before,” Amelia says. “Over and over again, you said I was amazing, you said I could count on you, you drew up a fucking contract. Cole, you made me believe in you. And then you broke me in the worst possible way, as soon as your dad pushed your buttons.”
“Amelia...” I reach for her, and she flinches.
It feels like a slap.
I lower my hand.
“I can do better,” I say.For you, I can do better,I think.
She searches my face.
Come on, I think.Believe in me one more time.
Slowly, reluctantly, she shakes her head. “Look Cole, what I said at the office...You weren’t a mistake. Being with you was a wonderful dream.”
My heart picks up with painful hope.
“But I don’t need a dream, for the stage of my life that’s coming. I need someone I can count on,” she says. “You don’t trust me, or you wouldn’t have believed your dad. And after what you did, I just can’t trust you not to lash out and hurt me every time your dad manipulates you.”
She starts to shut the door.
“Amelia, I love—”
“Please, Cole,” she begs. “Don’t make this harder than it is. I need something real now. Please just let me go.”
I want to argue, tell her I love her, tell her I want something real too. But her eyes are shimmering with the tears she’s trying not to cry in front of me.
In the end, I’m powerless not to give her the one thing she’s asking for.
I step back from the door. “Take care of yourself, Amelia.” My voice is rough.
She nods, and mouthsYou too, but the words don’t quite make it out of her mouth. Then she closes the door in my face.
I leave. This time when I thinkShe didn’t betray you, the words don’t feel like hope. They feel like a cruel irony. Like a wounded, grieving howl I’ll never get over.
26
COLE
I’m taking a cab home when I get a call from my assistant Lucinda.
“Bridget’s here at the office to drop off Kiera,” Lucinda says. “She says it’s your weekend.”
“Right,” I say numbly. “Tell them I’m sorry and I’m coming back now.”
I redirect the cab to the office. The idea of seeing Kiera feels really fucking good right now. Just the idea of hugging her calms me down and makes me start to feel more human.
And with that comes the reminder of what a shitty human I’ve been to everyone at the office this week.
