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“I have to be honest with you, Draevyn.” Wrapping my arms around myself, I stared at the girls as they pushed each other on the swing. “I’m not sure I can forgive you. I was heartbroken over my parent’s betrayal, forced to flee with mages I didn’t know while worrying over the safety of my nieces.” I clutched my aching chest, feeling as if he’d struck it open with a mallet, exposing every layer of my insecurities, and I was once again that feared and mistrusted child whose parents watched, waiting for her to turn evil. “The last thing I needed was your scorn.”
“What can I do to show you how sorry I am?” He stepped toward me, his hands reaching for something that I feared would always be out of reach.
I took a big step back. “I honestly don’t think it matters.” My shoulders fell with the admission. “The damage has already been done, Draevyn.”
His jaw dropped, and he looked as if I’d plunged a dagger through his heart.
Of all the moments for that stupid bond to rear its ugly head. It pulsed between us like a racing heartbeat, tempting me to let him sweep me into his arms and fly me to the heavens. But, no. He didn’t deserve my heart. He’d had the chance to hold it once, and he’d thrown it away. Our bond didn’t seem to care as it thrummed harder and harder. Even though we stood across from each other, so near yet so far, a chasm of sorrow was wedged between us. I stood dangerously close to the precipice of that chasm. I had to get away before I fell in and drowned.
“Auntie!” Aurora called, her legs violently swinging back and forth while she jerked around on the swing. “Em isn’t pushing me high enough.”
I refused to spare him another glance as I turned away. “I’m coming, girls.”
That bond between us stretched thinner as I walked away, but it refused to break, reminding me that my heart would never be rid of him, no matter how hard I tried.
Chapter Fifteen
Nikkos’s wound smelledworse, and I was now convinced it was the infection, for his skin was feverish, more so than usual for a fire mage. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t showing any signs of healing when Fae were known for their ability to recover quickly from injuries. The nurses cleaned the wound, added more medicine, and changed the bandages every hour. I was truly starting to believe they were making him worse. After their last visit, I’d told them not to come back. They’d given me tight-lipped responses while sharing secret glances, and I knew they wouldn’t listen, which meant I wouldn’t be able to leave his room at all. So I remained in bed with him, stroking his heated skin, brushing his wet hair from his face, trying, and failing, to reach him through thought.
Even more troubling was as Nikkos’s condition worsened, I could feel the strength of my magic slipping away, that siren inside me hiding in the shadows. The buzzing magic in my veins had receded to a slow trickle. It was then I realized how much my magic had come to depend on his love. If he died, I feared my magic would die with him. Then how would I protect the girls and Blaze?
The girls played with their dolls by the hearth after taking a long nap with me. They’d been especially good today, quietly playing while casting me furtive looks as I fussed over Nikkos. Draevyn had fortunately stayed away most of the day after our awkward encounter in the garden, but I knew I’d need to face him again soon. I cringed when a sharp rap came from the sitting room door. Speak of the demon. I knew it was him.
I heard muffled footsteps in the sitting room before he poked his head inside the bedchamber. “Any improvements?” he asked as he walked over to the bed.
“No,” I answered, watching as he checked beneath the bandage.
Up until this point, Draevyn’s concern for his brother had brought me a small measure of comfort, but the panic that flashed in his eyes as he looked at the wound was nearly enough to send my heart and soul plummeting into the abyss. His wings drooped as he sat on the bed, clasping his brother’s hands. He let out a sound like a strangled sob and then quickly stood, turning his back to me and crossing over to the balcony, but not before I saw the tears welling in his eyes. He clutched the banister, his spine rigid as he stared up at the midday sun, and I felt his despair deep in my soul. Though I mourned for Nikkos, too, this was a different pain, for I’d felt this sorrow once before—the night my parents had told me Shiri had been mauled by a bear.
“Auntie, I’m bored.”
I hadn’t even noticed Aurora approach the bed. I swiped tears from my eyes. “I’m sorry, girls. We can’t leave Uncle Nikkos.”
Shoulders sagging, she dragged her feet back toward her sister, plopping on the floor with a sigh.
Draevyn cleared his throat as he walked back into the room, his hands and wings tucked behind his back. “Shirina, if you would indulge me for a moment, I’d like you to meet someone who could help you with the girls.” He crossed to the bed and held a hand down to me.
