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“N—absolutelynot.” She pushes up on her elbows. “I don’t need help.”
Of course she does, but who am I to argue? “Okay. Get up.”
Lily hangs her head. I have the most foolish, most counterproductive instinct to call it off. To call everything off. To wrap her in a big blanket, put her in the SUV, and take her home.
You know what nobody ever did for us after we got kicked out of our house with our brother in unbearable pain and the rest of us crumbling from grief?
Took ushome.
I wait while she unfolds herself from the window seat and stands, her knees shaking. Oh, she insists that she’s not breaking, and she thinks there’s a chance she won’t, but she looks at the rug instead of me.
“Come over here.”
I get up when she’s halfway across the rug and she stops, peeking at me from below her lashes. “What do you—”
I step around to the side of the couch, making a big, circular motion to wave her toward me. “This way.”
“I canseeyou.” Her voice is soft, cracking under all the orgasms. Irritated. Exhausted. “You don’t have to wave like that.”
“Great. Keep coming.” I keep waving, because I’m an asshole, and telling me Idon’t have to do somethingis as good as a guarantee that I’ll do it.
“Oh, my God.”
“You can call me Jameson.”
“I’d rather call you Asshole.”
“Rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?” I lead her through the cottage to the bathroom and thenintothe bathroom.
Lily hesitates at the threshold. “Whatever you’re imagining, I’m not—”
I lock eyes with her, stone-faced, and turn on the shower at full blast. “Are you afraid of showers?”
An enormous, petulant roll of her eyes. “I am not afraid of taking a shower. But I’mnotgoing to go in there and—”
“Wash your hair? Suds yourself up? You could use the tub, if you wanted. It’s huge. I bet you could swim in it.”
She pinches her lips together. Her bottom lip is pink, swollen from how much she’s bitten down on it, and goddamn everything on this planet straight to the darkest pits of hell, I want to kiss her. I want to tip her face to mine and hover an inch from her lips and dare her to kiss me back. I want to make her laugh for real and not out of sheer terror.
No. I don’t. Those are the delusions of a man who’s lost his mind. I also want her lips wrapped around my cock. Either would do.
“You’re…” A hopeful pause. “Going to let me take a shower?”
I offer my hand, testing the water with the other. “Water’s nice.”
She steps forward, her legs shaky underneath her. One soft footfall, then another, and then another, and her small hand fits into mine. Lily glances away like I haven’t had her parked on my window seat with her fingers on her clit for hours. “Thanks.”
“No problem. Clean towels on the hook. I’ll be in the living room.”
Lily whirls around, and I almost reach into the water to steady her. The spray lands on her hair, turning it dark and shiny, curling it in loops over her shoulders, her collarbone. It’d be heavier in my hands, between my fingers, but it would still be soft, wouldn’t it? It’d be so soft.
I forget why we’re staring at each other.
I forget the last thing I said.
“Are you going to watch me?”
Yes,demands the deranged part of me.I’m going to torture you here, too.
