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He sits, not saying a word, tapping his finger on his thigh, simply looking at me, my comfort level lowering with every little side glance he gives me.
“What is the issue if I belong to Dungeon Elite?”
“You’re arguing with a lawyer, you asshole. Really? This is your defense?”
His vein visibly pulses in his neck, and his jaw tightens. “Now that you understand who you’re dealing with, I’d watch your tone,” he warns.
He leaves for a moment retrieving something from his minibar. Finally. I need alcohol. But he hands me a water. Controlling motherfucker. “Have you been there since we’ve been together?” I ask.
“No, of course not.” He’s quick in his response.
“You weren’t joking when you said you liked control. Was our little role-play more to you than just some heightened sex between us?”
“If you’re asking if I faked anything with you, Anisten, the answer is no.”
“Why not tell me?”
Forcing a laugh, his eyes narrow in on my features, rubbing the back of his neck. He crosses his arms at his chest, a tight smirk covering his face. “Why don’t you answer the question yourself?”
There’s a distinct crack in my tone as I let an edgy laugh escape my mouth. “I’m not answering it for you. Tell me. Why keep this from me?” It’s my turn to demand.
“Have you met you, Counselor? We were having fun, and I wasn’t sure if we’d last after the first couple of times.” He stands, pulls a Coke out of his fridge, and knowing I won’t drink soda, doesn’t offer me one.
My cheeks heat with anger at his answer. “And now? After what, thirty times in the sack together, you don’t think there may be a tomorrow for us? Sure you could have used that excuse for the first couple of times we were together. But, you knew I’d walk?”
“Perhaps,” he admits and I push to my feet at his confession.
“Sit back down, Heaven.” There’s the same voice, the one that puts me into a trance, the same one that had me wanting to please him the first night we met. There’s something about his tone. And I want to obey. Fuck, where has the strong Anisten Atkins gone? I’d never give over such power. And yet, here we are.
He physically grinds his teeth, his jaw still tight. “Let me ask you this? I’ve been this way with you since the day we met. Sure, I’d not told you I was a Dom. But I never changed who I was. And you more than liked it; you begged for it.”
It hits me and I can’t help but laugh, like double over in hysterics. “You were destined to be a control freak.”
He doesn’t crack a smile at my joke. No sign that he’s found amusement in my observation. “I thought one night was all we’d have, Anisten. You were willing to do it my way. And as for the club, baby, I’ve not been since we started dating. I want you. And I love our sex. It’s unconventional, but always consensual.”
“Were you going to tell me?” Nausea builds in my stomach, awaiting his answer.
“Yes.” There’s no hesitation in his reply.
“After I fell in love with you?” I wait for an explanation I’m positive won’t come.
“What’s the real reason you’re mad? You’ve not said it. What upsets you the most, Anisten? Words. I want you to use your words explaining the real reason because I’ve never faked anything with you.”
His question leaves me rattled and breathless as I pull for a lung-filling inhale. “You withheld information from me, Luca. Do you understand how I could feel betrayed by this?” The ability to articulate my feelings causes my breathing to level out, though my pulse is still erratic.
“You feel I betrayed you? I mean, it’s a valid point, Heaven.”
I stay quiet. He admitted he was wrong. Did I hear him right?
“Anisten, baby, I was going to tell you this weekend, and I’m many things but I’m not a liar.” He stands up, leaving his Coke on the end table near him, rounding the glass coffee table, and kneeling on the floor. At his height, he’s at my eye level. “And, Heaven, you have to understand one thing. I’ve never had a relationship with anyone in this lifestyle.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” My sass has his eyebrows raised in a warning. But something about his explanation has my heart beating for him. But without trust, how can we build a life together? I stay silent because I can’ttrustmy heart.
“With you, Heaven, I see weekends on the couch doing crossword puzzles. And making pancakes for our children, and….”
My pulse is back to its erratic rhythm. It’s too much. All of this is too much, too soon. Now he throws in children. “And what do you expect in a relationship as a Dom?”
His lips press together in a slight scowl. “It’s whatever we both agree on,together,Heaven.”
