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I almost buy it for a moment, his sincerity, the longing in his eyes. “You can love someone and live this lifestyle.”
I stand, and he doesn’t stop me this time. “Oh, I see, no commanding me to stay?”
He casts his eyes over to the outdoors and the busyness of Chicago. “Understand this—I don’t want you to leave. You’ve listened. I’d love for you to stay, but I won’t force you against your will.”
“Says the guy who heaved me up and over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.” I’m struggling to find the right words, and I’m paidto always have the right words.
His face is pained, his eyes narrow together, and his mouth is downturned. Maybe he doesn’t have the right words, too. “Anisten, you have to know you’re special, right?”
I hesitate for a second.What the hell, lady?I think to myself. Cut your losses and run. This is not the life for you, and yet, here I am. Before I can have another thought, logic floods my brain, and I storm out of his home and life.
* * *
The minute I walk into my two-story brownstone, I fall against the nearest wall to my door and slide down, tears forming in my eyes. I do not cry. I mean, I. Never. Cry. And yet, I’m giving him power over me, causing me to break one of my rules.
I’ve heard of Dungeon Elite, but even with Luca’s need for control, I’d never in my wildest imagination guess he’d be a member. It’s the most discreet yet well-known kink club in Illinois, with several in large cities throughout the country. But even with his love for domination, I wouldn’t have suspected him a member.
I type in Dungeon Elite, and the large estate on land just west of the city is beautiful and protected by a gate. Only the elite are allowed within the walls, and recently, according to the website, they’ve permitted another tier with higher access, called Elite Members Only. I have no idea what this means. Knowing Luca, he always has the best of everything.
The picture of the owner, the well-known philanthropist Chadwick Westbrook, and his beautiful wife are on the next page I click. News to me the elusive owner is married. I explore many parts of the website, but the inside of the club is not pictured. There are steps on how to join and general rules that apply. That’s it. Nothing else.
I’m more confused, but my inner kinkster that has come out to play in the past month is intrigued. But another part of me says I’m in control of my life, screaming a warning. Danger ahead. Don’t fucking go down that rabbit hole. But I can’t help it because I’m already falling in love with Luca De Santos.
And after a month in his space, or him in mine—spending almost every spare moment together, laughing over inside jokes, and already choosing shows to binge—I’m not falling in love. No, I’m already in love. In one month; four weeks; just twenty-eight days, I’ve fallen in love with Luciano De Santos.
CHAPTERTHIRTEEN
Harry calls me day after day with updates on the case. I’ve told him he’s the go-between with Anisten and me for the foreseeable future. I could go to Anisten, push my inner Dom on her, make her see what we could be. I could. And fuck, do I want to do just that.
I won’t. First, if she misses me as much as I miss her, then maybe it’s true what they say and absence does make the heart grow fonder. But more so, if she chooses us—because I can guarantee we’re not over, not by a long shot—it needs to be all her decision and not something she’s forced into.
My phone won’t leave me alone. Not with my best friend texting me every second as though we’re thirteen-year-old girls, sharing each other’s secrets.
Murph:I know you’re there, asshole. Pick up the phone.
I shoot off a response.
Me:Fuck off. You want to talk about Anisten, one of your many girls, or the club, right?
Murph:Nah, nothing about your girl, my girls, or the club.
I dial his number and he picks up on the first ring.
“Hey, Luc. I sort of lied.”
I should have known. But more, why am I still on the phone with him?
“Yeah, and what did you lie about, asshole?”
“I’ll share my location, and let’s hit Dungeon Elite. They’re having a Members Elite event. We don’t have to play with anyone, but…”
He means I don’t have to play with anyone but he wants to.
“We’re not joined at the hip, Murph. Just go. You need to let out your inner Dom, and I need to drink this whole fifth of expensive tequila.”
There’s a long breath expelled on his end. “Seriously? Sometimes you can’t have what you want. Stop wallowing in what you don’t have and in what you do.” He speaks from experience, knowing a lot about losingthegirl.
“Go fuck off, man. I’ll do whatever I have to do to get through this.” I miss Anisten. I’ve never uttered such words in the forty-two years of my life. I fucking miss her.
