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She closed her eyes against his chest, wanting his comfort even though she felt unworthy of it.
“So you were on the streets? All that time?” Michael asked, his tone tight with anger. “The son of a bitch never looked for you? Never made sure you were provided for?”
“I just wanted to be away from the pain,” she said in a quiet voice. “I’m the coward. It was the only way I could turn it off. I didn’t want to go back. I didn’t want to live. So I existed. Day to day. On the streets where nothing matters. No one cares who you are. They don’t care what your sins are or what your past is. You’re just another nameless, faceless person that nobody ever sees. ”
“Oh God no, baby,” Michael whispered as he pulled her from Dillon’s embrace into his own. “You’re not a coward. You’re one of the bravest goddamn people I know. How you survived is a miracle, but I’m so damn grateful because it brought you to me—to us. And we’re not letting go of you, Lily. I don’t know what the hell you’re thinking right now, but we’re not letting you go. We’re going to be right here. With you. Always. We’ll work through this. You’ll always have
us to take care of you. You’ll always have us to depend on. ”
“Always,” Seth quietly confirmed.
She stirred and raised her head, taking in each of their expressions. Their eyes burned with purpose and intensity.
“You want me?” she asked in a creaky, incredulous voice. “After what I’ve told you, you want me?”
“Damn right we want you,” Dillon bit out. “We’re not your pansy-ass ex-husband, Lily. We don’t throw out weak accusations and hide behind guilt. Living with us may not always be easy, but I’ll be goddamned if we don’t give it everything we have. We’ll love you unconditionally, and you’ll always, always have our full support. ”
“Even if I don’t want more children?” she asked quietly.
Michael squeezed her tighter to him and brushed his mouth across her forehead. “Honey, I can only imagine the horrific grief you feel at your loss. I can’t even wrap my brain around it. I won’t say I understand it, because I’ve never experienced anything of that magnitude. But even if we never have children, we’re still going to love you and want you with us. In time, and when some of the rawness is gone, you may decide that children are something you want. And we’ll support you one hundred percent. We can change diapers, burp and feed babies with the best of them. Every single one of us had a hand in raising Callie. ”
“It will be different this time, Lily,” Seth said. “You never ever have to fear that you’ll be alone with a baby to take care of. If we decide in the future that children are something we want, then we’ll tackle it as a unit. Family. You’ll not only have us, but you’ll have Mom and Callie and the dads. You have a big family who loves you now. We support you unconditionally. That’s what family is about. ”
“Oh God,” she whispered. “I’ve been so afraid. I’ve shut it all out because I didn’t want you to know. I knew you had to eventually, but every day I told myself I just wanted one more day. And then it turned into one more day and another and another. I kept telling myself later. I’d tell you later, but I didn’t want to ruin something so perfect and the first real joy I’ve felt since the birth of Rose. ”
Michael kissed her again and Dillon rubbed his hand over her back.
“Now about the condom,” Seth hesitantly began. “Honey, you have to know we’re so damn sorry. We’d never do anything to hurt you or that went against your wishes. But I need you to know something okay? Look at me. ”
Her gaze drifted to Seth, to the fierceness on his face.
“I need you to hear this. If it ends up that you got pregnant, that your birth control wasn’t effective yet, we are going to be there for you every single step of the way. We’ll handle this together, and I guarantee you that there’ll be no shortage of people to watch over our child every minute of the day so that you can rest and recover. I swear it, Lily. On my life. ”
Dillon and Michael both nodded and some of the awful tension eased just a tiny bit in her chest.
“Okay,” she whispered. “I believe you. ”
Chapter Thirty-Two
“She’s been this way for a goddamn week,” Dillon swore.
The three brothers were gathered in the kitchen while Lily had secluded herself in Dillon’s office painting. She’d spent most of her days there, coming out at dinner, even smiling and making casual conversation. But there were shadows under her eyes, and pain still lurked in their depths.
“I want to marry her,” Michael said bluntly. “As soon as possible. I think we should ask her now. ”
Seth raised an eyebrow. “You really think now is good timing?”
“It’s what we all want,” Michael said. “And the thing is, I want to do it now, before she knows if she’s pregnant or not. If it turns out that she’s carrying our child, I don’t want her to ever think that we married her for any other reason than we love her and want to spend the rest of our lives with her. ”
“He raises a good point,” Dillon said. “I’d rather do it now, before we know one way or another. That way we can face the outcome together. ”
Seth grimaced. “I hope she’s not pregnant. She has a lot of healing to do before we can even think about children. I have no doubt that we’d support her every step of the way, but I want her to have our child because that’s what she wants more than anything. Not because a goddamn condom broke. ”
“I agree,” Michael said quietly.
“It would seem we have a ring to buy, and we need to figure out the best way to pop the question,” Dillon said. “I have to admit, I never expected the day I asked a woman to marry me to be a group effort. ”
