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“Fuck, fuck,fuck,” he breathed down my throat before devouring my tongue again. “Work yourself harder, angel. I’m right—” he paused to groan, “there.”
It was what I’d been unknowingly waiting for. His permission, him chasing me as I exploded into microscopic fragments, only to be pieced back together again by him.
Cole roared through his climax, body going stiff as a board as he rutted into me over and over and over, forcefully emptying himself and flooding me with his thick seed.
With vocal cords stripped from endless begging and screaming, all I could manage was a wide-mouthed rasp of his name and all that was holy.
My harsh breathing canceled his out, and vice versa, until we were just one breath, one entity, one orgasm.
Without pulling out of me, Cole unhooked my other wrist and leg, sliding an arm under my back, and hoisting me to the top of the bed.
His cock was still full, but not with lust. Sometimes it took him a minute to come down, and he enjoyed spending that minute drowning in his own pool of cum. So he gently nestled in, scooping my release from our chests and mopping it off his fingers with his tongue as our bodies cooled.
Once he slipped free, he massaged life back into my extremities, then examined my opening for injury. Cole removed the cuffs and checked for bruising before planting me on top of him and offering me shelter at his neck. I inhaled him in, eyes drooping shut.
“Tell me the truth you’ve been holding back from me, angel,” he whispered. “Just this once. Just for tonight. And I promise to never use it against you.” His arms became steel bands around me. His heart thrummed fiercely against my skin.“Please.”
I debated pretending I’d already fallen asleep, but Cole had given me so much, hadalwaysgiven me so much, wasn’t it time I gave him something in return? No matter the emotional cost to me? “I still love you, Cole. And I can’t make it stop,” I said, words shattering like glass, the shards stabbing at my heart.
He kissed the top of my head, smiling against my scalp. There was something unexpectedly freeing in my selfless admission, almost as if facing the elephant meant I no longer had to hide from it, no matter how temporary the mutual contentment gained from it would be.
“Thank you,” he said sleepily, taking us to our sides and drawing the quilt up and over our shoulders, letting our love, and our last few hours of ignorant bliss, lull us to sleep.
Cole
THE PENTHOUSE WAScold without him, and every surface I’d taken him on had been scrubbed clean in our absence. The cum-stained sheets we’d left behind had been replaced with silks that smelled of a fragrance too soft to be him, yet too masculine to be him either. Jasper landed somewhere in between Heaven and Hell, angel and devil, and without even trying, even when he believed he was doing exactly that for my benefit. It was all him. Rare and lovely.
I’d scoured the place I called home for any traces of him ever since returning hours ago from our Thanksgiving night away. The piano lid I’d eaten him like a delicacy on while he shook on all fours now sparkled. And even the smudge on the window from where I’d sent him to his knees to lick clean after he’d orgasmed against it now shined immaculately. And all the clothing he’d left thrown about had already been taken to be laundered.
They didn’t come any messier than Jasper, and it had thrilled me to see him let loose and turn this place into a disaster zone the few days he’d spent here. It couldn’t be easy for someone like him to live with someone as rigid as Daniel.
My last hope was the living room area rug, and I shamelessly sniffed its center and its circumference searching for Jasper. Any hint of him. There was nothing.
I fell to my ass, reclining against the loveseat, thinking about the weighted silence we’d maintained as we showered and departed for the real world that morning, now wishing I could get that time back, do things differently. I’d kiss him one last time, make plans for us to see each other soon. I’d steal the shirt off his back.
Instantly, I rose to my feet, remembering something important. I disregarded the ringing of my cell phone; Leland could wait, and headed for the master bedroom closet.
Balled up in the back of my top dresser drawer was the t-shirt Jasper had discarded on my bathroom floor before showering with me the last night we were here. I’d decided on a whim to hold on to it because I needed some part of him, some kind of link to him whenever he wasn’t here.
Bringing the cotton to my nose, I fiendishly inhaled, sagging against the shoe shelves behind me. After the week we’d had, hell, after thenightwe’d had, being without him for a day would feel like a century, and two dayswouldbe an eternity. I knew this because I’d gone through it before. We were, in a way, repeating the past.
It wasn’t that I needed him near me at all times. Our individual lives were too full for that level of obsession. It was the access to him I needed like my next breath. I needed to be the one who got to see the sun rise in his eyes every morning and set over nightly dinners. I wanted our schedules to be built around the time we set aside for each other, instead of having to shift things around to be together. I wanted him to surprise me at work in the middle of the day because he missed me, and simply because he could. I wanted the privilege of holding his hand around friends and strangers, of letting the world know he was mine. I had Jasper’s heart, but Daniel got to share a life with him out loud, and it was killing me. I’d been a fool to think it wouldn’t.
With the shirt white-knuckled to my chest, as if daring anyone to try and take it from me, I grabbed the bottle of gin I kept in the kitchen, then swiped my phone off the foyer table to return Leland’s many missed calls.
“Cole?” he answered, before the completion of a full ring. “Where are you?”
I dragged my feet back to the living room and placed the call on speaker, letting the phone fall and rattle onto the piano so I could uncap the bottle, Jasper’s shirt now tucked under my arm.
“Cole?” his voice lowered.
“I’m fine, Leland,” I said, pouring the alcohol directly down my throat and wandering to the window.
“If you were fine, you’d be at the office attending the board meeting. They’re in the conference room waiting for you.” His whispered words lacked heat. The meeting wasn’t his priority right then, he was fishing for the truth of my well-being. “Talk to me, Cole,” he said with enough care to make it hurt. “I can reschedule the meeting. Make up some excuse about traffic—an accident even. Maybe a car swerved into a divider trying to avoid a runaway puppy,” he joked without humor, his way of getting something out of me.
Fuck.I’d forgotten about the meeting. “Whose bright idea was it to set this meeting up right after a holiday? No one’s even in the office today.”
“It wasyourbright idea for that reason exactly.”
