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To my credit, I’dsuggestednot mandated it, but the shareholders had agreed. For some it was as simple as making it across town. The others would be joining in virtually. “Say what you have to Leland. I can’t make it in.”
“Okay,” he said. “How’d your night go?” He knew about my night away with Jasper. He’d helped with some of the arrangements.
“It went as expected,” I said dully, staring blankly toward the frigid river in the distance.
“I’ll come over—”
“Don’t,” I said, swinging my torso around to the phone. “I know you want to help, Leland, but you can’t. Clear my calendar, reschedule the meeting for Monday, and I’ll see you in the office then.” The silence returned, feeling like a pinched breath, but so much was communicated through it.
“Call if you need me,” he finally said, and I nodded as if he could see me.
I didn’t have the strength or interest to walk the short distance needed to end the call. He would have to do it. I gave my back to the window, winced at the burn the booze caused on its way to my liver, and slid to the floor. I didn’t move for the rest of the day, and I couldn’t say how long Leland’s breathing kept me company before it was gone, before leaving me to my misery.
I’d kept myself numb all weekend, and a roaring headache waited for me Monday morning along with numerous missed calls, ten voicemail messages, and a text from Leland that read:Turn on the fucking news and call me. Now!
I patted around the blanket and sheets for the missing TV remote before giving up and staggering to my study. Clicking on the television over the mantel, I sank to the edge of my desk, listening to the business news station in horror. An investigation had been launched into sexual harassment claims made by multiple women against the CEO of Delnewik—a recently acquired tech subsidiary of Nexcom. “Shit.”
My phone vibrated in my hand. Another text from Leland:The board wants to meet at 9 a.m. instead of 10. Think it has anything to do with Delnewik?
I was certain he was being sarcastic, but I replied anyway: Of course it does. Get a hold of Daniel. Tell him to be ready in an hour. I’ll pick him up on my way to the office.
I needed to discuss how this would legally impact us before the board descended on me. Daniel and I could prepare for the new direction of the meeting—which he would now be a part of—on the drive in.
Twenty minutes and two painkillers later, and I was climbing into the back seat of the SUV, begging Mark to take it easy on the potholes as I cradled my head. He reached back without a word, steaming cup of coffee in hand. I thanked him profusely, promising him an end of year bonus as he pulled away from the curb.
“Your check cleared the bank already, Mr. Kincaid,” he said around a chuckle. “And thank your assistant. He told me to get the largest cup size they offered.”
The morning traffic made the journey to Daniel and Jasper’s place arduous, but I needed all the time I could get to collect myself if I planned to get through the tidbits of Daniel’s homecoming he’d likely share, or to stomach a simple offhand comment about how Jasper was still tucked into their bed, or in the shower, or sad to see him go after having just gotten him back. Daniel’s small talk almost always included Jasper; it was like he thought any mention of mybrotherserved as a reminder that he’d made our reunion possible, which in turn meant I owed him, or at the very least needed to make Jasper happy by seeing his husband as valuable to me.
Way too soon we were approaching their high-rise apartment building, but Daniel wasn’t waiting in front like his response to my text said he’d be. I checked the time, then squinted past the morning mist to where the doorman held the entrance open for someone—not Daniel—exiting.
No one kept me waiting. And certainly not Daniel, I thought with a superiority birthed from jealousy. And then on the heel of that were the many sickening reasons why I might’ve been waiting. He’d said he was on his way down, did he decide he needed another minute with Jasper before he left? Did they get caught up in a kiss? Did one thing lead to another?
I called and got no answer. “I’ll be back,” I said to Mark as I got out of the vehicle and tipped my head to the doorman before stepping into the festively decorated lobby. I gave my name and identification to the woman behind the desk. She verified I was on the visitor’s list, and then directed me unnecessarily to the bank of elevators that traveled to their floor.
My palms grew sweaty, my thoughts moving at lightning speed as the elevator ascended, and my haggard expression met me in the mirrored control panel. I hadn’t had time to shave or dry my wet hair, and the whites of my eyes were red from all the alcohol and lack of sleep.What a difference a few days could make.
The elevator opened in front of their ajar apartment door, and my heart pumped harsher. He’d obviously turned back on his way out, and in such a rush he hadn’t fully shut the door. Maybe he went back for his hat, or his gloves, or phone. Anythingexcept Jasper.
The elevator doors began to close me in as I debated whether or not to punish myself with what waited beyond their door. I then questioned what I would do if I found them in a compromising position. I whipped my arm out, triggering the sensors before schooling my expression and entering their home.
Ahead of me, Daniel bounded down the stairs, his coat thrown over his arm, and Jasper trailing behind, his shirt askew. “Oh, Cole,” Daniel said, his ascension slowing. Jasper halted completely, his hand tightening on the iron banister. “Sorry to keep you waiting. I got to the door and realized I’d left my coat upstairs.” He held it up, presenting it as evidence. Only Daniel’s coat never made it past the third hanger from the left in the coat closet near the front door, the one that stood partially open now.
He was habitual and compulsive about his rituals, that much about him was glaringly obvious. He turned an office work lunch into a meticulous ordeal of table wipe downs and napkin bibs, and he was the reason for the bare shelves in our cleaning supply closet. According to him, a coat should never make it more than a few feet past the front door of any home. Not unless he’d slipped out of the front door and then became so consumed with need, with missing his husband, so out of his mind with lust that he’d charged back upstairs to have him one last time before leaving for the day. Would that have been worth breaking protocol for him? It would’ve been for me.
“I called you,” I said, prying my teeth apart.
“Sorry, I didn’t hear the phone ring.”
I got the sense he was lying and an even stranger feeling that he’d wanted me to know it. I couldn’t rely on my intuition right then, though. Not when my jealousy was running the show. And I’d never needed proof or proper reasoning for something to be true when jealous.
“Ready?” he chirped.
“Yeah,” I mustered, my eyes clinging to Jasper’s.
“Sweetheart,” he then said to Jasper, oblivious to the war happening right in front of him. “Make a reservation at the Italian restaurant you love. I’ll be done with work before dinner.” With his coat now on he smiled, gesturing for me to exit ahead of him.
“Yeah,” Jasper said, his reply lagging, “Okay.”
