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“Fuck,” I hissed, backing away from Daniel’s lips with a hand to my pounding heart. Behind Daniel, Cole strode from the dining room, hands slung into the pockets of his gray, pinstriped pants, his shoes clicking against the hardwood floor as he languidly approached. His expression gave nothing away.
“Because the sound is magnified tenfold this high off the ground,” he continued. “And because storms always get Jasper going. Some things never change, right? Brother,” he tacked on, and I chose not to see it as an intentional afterthought.
“Oh, yeah. I almost forgot,” Daniel said. “There was a slight mix-up. Cole and I were supposed to meet tomorrow evening, but his assistant had it penciled in for tonight.” He lowered his voice. “Seemed rude to ask him to leave.”
“I’ll be sure to speak with Leland about the error. My offer to leave still stands. Feels like I’m intruding on something,” he said, gaze shackled to mine.
“Nonsense,” Daniel protested. “It’s only dinner, and besides, you’re family.”
“Jas?” Cole asked, waiting for my approval.
“Wait,” Daniel said, frowning. “He gets to call you Jas? You said you hated the nickname.”
“I said I hated it as a pet name. There’s a difference.” Really, there wasn’t. My lips flattened at Cole’s amused expression, even as I prayed he didn’t utter the other name he liked to call me. The one that had been reserved for our more intimate moments. “You’re already here, and it’s coming down pretty hard out there. Might as well eat. Wait it out,” I said begrudgingly.
We ate by candlelight after Cole insisted Daniel do whatever he would have had he not been there. It was odd, but Daniel’s need to suck up to Cole won out. I couldn’t help feeling as if our relationship was being examined by Cole. Not our marriage—because that could be scaled down to a piece of paper, but how we worked together as a couple. The roles we played in each other’s lives. What we saw in each other. Were we loving enough? Touching enough? Were we coming up short on his mental checklist of things two people did when crazy about each other? After all, he’d know.
Daniel loosened up after a few glasses of Merlot, idly caressing my nape from his seat next to me as he spoke about his day. It felt awkward having another man’s hands on me in front of Cole, even if those hands belonged to my husband, but Cole didn’t so much as bat an eyelash. Maybe he did want to be brothers, friends. Leave the past behind us and move on. Maybe we could successfully do it, because truthfully, I had missed him, too.
“How was class, Jas?” Cole asked, lowering his wine glass by its bowl, licking the crimson stain away from his blush-hued lips. He sat across from me, and the candle’s flame made his blue eyes shine like a sun-filled sky. Fiercer than Daniel’s shade of light brown. He’d removed his jacket and folded up his sleeves before eating, his forearms thick and veiny. Sturdier than Daniel’s lean physique. My skin burned in all the places he’d touched before. I burned everywhere.
Maybe we couldn’t be friends after all, I second-guessed. My feelings on the matter pinged back and forth by the nanosecond. I shoved my own wine glass away, feeling shitty for comparing them, and faulting the alcohol for making me do it.
Not expecting to be asked to contribute, my brain processed the question with delay. Daniel typically did all the talking. “It started with a workout.” I chuckled. Daniel stared in confusion. Cole waited with interest. “There’s a ‘one push-up for every minute late’ rule.”
“Jasper,” Daniel chided, embarrassed on my behalf.
“So the lambs got retribution today,” Cole said appreciatively.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Tell me more,” he said in that eager, yet casual, way he had about him, slinging an arm across the back of the vacant chair next to him.
I hesitated for a beat, still unsure of him, of me, of my role at the table. But then Cole’s beseeching stare met mine.“Let me in,”it said. I propped my elbow on the table, causing Daniel’s hand at the base of my neck to fall away. “There’s really only a few it ever applies to. A pack of younger kids. Ages twenty-one, twenty-two. Most of the students are closer to my age. A couple of them are older.” I launched into our current course work: gathering evidence. I answered his questions with zest—even answering some he hadn’t asked, and I delved, in great detail, into the mock trial we had going. “We’ve got a district attorney, a defense team, a jury—”
“And let me guess, you’re the judge?” Cole said without an ounce of surprise.
“Well, of course,” I answered smugly, easing back in my seat. “Someone’s gotta keep them honest.” We laughed, and I peered over to Daniel, who I’d forgotten about. He sat frozen, studying me with an odd look. Almost like he was searching for his husband.
“I’ve never seen you come alive like this before,” Daniel said.
“I don’t get to talk about this side of my life often is all,” I replied, squeezing his knee below the table, feeling a strange need to apologize to him for my excitement. For letting my existence be known.
To that Cole sat straighter. “What do you mean?” He cut his eyes to Daniel. “Do you not ask him about his passions? His job?”
“Well, admittedly, I’m usually trying to sway him to put his knowledge and skills as an attorney to better use,” Daniel said, now sifting his fingers through the back of my hair. He wasn’t usually this touchy in front of people. I guessed public displays of affection was another side effect of him wanting to impress Cole.
“I see,” Cole said slowly, his gaze growing more keen as he took in our relationship with fresh eyes.
“Look at that,” Daniel said to me. “Even your brother understands.” He actually believed he had Cole’s full support.
“I take it you know what’s best for him,” Cole said to Daniel.
“At the very least I see what he doesn’t.”
“And what’s that?” Cole asked with a feigned curiousness Daniel was too consumed with his own hubris to see.
“That he can be great,ifhe only applied himself,” Daniel said, brushing a thumb down my cheek as if he’d just given me the highest compliment. I closed my eyes and internally groaned, because Cole wouldn’t get it. He wouldn’t get why I allowed Daniel to get away with this. He wouldn’t understand Daniel meant no harm. And that above all, I was gettingexactlywhat I deserved.
