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I sent a text off to Cole.
Franklin:I just got back, are you available for dinner?
His response came immediately.
Cole:We left for New York ahead of schedule. I got an invite to Jasper’s surprise birthday celebration, and I couldn’t pass it up. I forgot to mention it to you. Things have been hectic.
Franklin:I take it Jasper doesn’t know you’re coming?
Three dots appeared and vanished several times before he settled on a reply.
Cole:No.
Another text came behind that one.
Cole:I hope your time away helped. Sorry I missed you.
Franklin:I hope so too, and no need to apologize.
I didn’t know what else to say, so I left it at that. He was gone, and I had no business being hurt or upset about it, but I was anyway, and it was on me to deal with it.
Outside of business-related matters, Cole and I hadn’t spoken as often as we probably should have while I was gone, so I was excited to get back to him, to maybe spend a few days together before he left, to perhaps see Leland too.
I’d had it all planned out in my head. We’d grab a bite to eat, I’d apologize, we’d have a good cry, and my son and I would promise to work on our relationship. I had to remind myself that fixing things wouldn’t happen on my timeline. If Cole and Jasper decided to let me in, and if by some miracle Leland decided to let me in too, it would need to be on their terms and when they were ready.
My phone vibrated with another text.
Cole:You can always join us.
Franklin:I think one Kincaid showing up to a party he doesn’t even know about is more than enough. But thank you.
I smiled distantly, hitting send and choosing to feel grateful for the invite instead of over-thinking whether or not it was genuine. Negative thinking would get me nowhere.
Jasper was a married man now, and the stepbrother he’d once had an intimate relationship with was on his way to re-insert himself into his life. Adding myself to that flame right now would only burn the whole damn house down. I’d give them a little time—but not too much.
Invigorated with hope, I scooped my bags up and left the house I no longer recognized for the one I’d spent some of my happiest days in.
Arriving at the waterfront house, I stuffed the speeding ticket I received on my mad dash here into the glovebox before entering the home.Ourhome.
I went through every room, tearing away the dust covers and opening windows and balcony doors, breathing life into the place again. I ogled Leland’s mural before moving on toA Winter Meadow,still perched atop the mantel, still capable of bringing me to my knees with its beauty and the remorse it stirred in me.
“Maybe one day we can both be daisies.”
I’d told him that once and then I’d turned around and made the feat impossible.
“Catch and release,” I reminded myself.
Sliding open the glass wall, I stepped onto the patio, inhaling the scent of ocean water just beyond and squinting at the setting sun. Soon the moon would be high, bringing with it memories of the countless times I’d made love to Leland right under its light.
Will he ever forgive me?I asked myself. He had every right not to, and for so long I reveled in the idea that he never would.
My last stop was the garages where my other love awaited me. I swiped a hand over the chest of drawers I never finished, wiping the dust from my fingers onto the leg of my pants as I moved over to the table saw.
What’s he doing right now?Without permission, my mind had reserved every other second for thoughts of Leland. I gave up on fighting it long ago.
It occurred to me then, that today was Sunday, and I was hit with something I’d confessed to Leland the last night we were here together.
“Sunday nights are always the hardest. That’s when you close your curtains to me, but it’s the why of it that breaks my heart, Leland.”
