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I bite my lip, heart thudding hard, remembering what he said as he spanked me. He spoke of owning me and claiming me. This has vibes like that, except more emotional, not just our bodies—our souls, too.
“I know you wouldn’t hit a woman,” I tell him. “I never should’ve said that.”
“It’s just… I promised Ryan, okay? You have to be okay with that.”
“You don’t want to break two promises in one day?”
“No.”
“I get that. Iamsorry, but if I’m in danger, shouldn’t I know? Shouldn’t I be prepared? I’d rather know what’s coming after us. Something is, Kai. Somebody is. You can’t deny that.”
“Why can’t you just leave it alone?”
“Do you think telling me the truth is worse than what we did?” I yell, hearing myself and hating my tone, hating the crack in my voice.
I feel I’m being dramatic, but I can’t help it. There’s just too much emotion: the anniversary of Dad’s death, the fight, the closeness, the pain of the package, all of it. Now Iamcrying.
I rub my cheeks angrily. “We’ve already crossed the worst lines. We’ve already donethat. There’s nothing you can tell me that will be worse than that. Wekissed. We’ve done o-o-o…”
Other things, I try to say, but dammit, the tears keep coming. They’re so over the top. I wish I could step outside and slap myself across the face for being so emotional, but it hurts. That’s the truth. It cuts.
He stands and reaches out like he’s going to touch me. That’s the last thing he should do, and it’s what I want most in the world. I want to feel his powerful hands squeezing my arms, holding me tight, and willing me to believe there’s a way out of this that doesn’t break Ryan’s world.
Then Kai stops himself and lowers his hands. “You’re coming with me. You’re going to have to be okay with that.”
“What if I leave and go home, huh? What then?”
He clenches his jaw. His green eyes glint like he’s tired of me. “You’re acting like a brat.”
“Maybe that’s just what I am,” I say, my tone vicious, not liking how I sound. It’s as if I’m not in control. The anger is. The regret. “Just Ryan’s bratty little sister. Just an inconvenience for you to read bedtime stories to. The tagalong, right?”
“Just calm dow—”
I was right before. When somebody sayscalm down, it’s the last thing I want to do.
“I heard you and Ryan before we left!” I interrupt. “You didn’t want to take me on this trip. You wanted nothing to do with me.”
“That’s because…” He trails off, shaking his head. “Just sit down.”
“Because what?”
“Please, just sit down.”
I turn and walk into the forest. It’s not a smart thing to do, but I do it anyway. I need space, just a few minutes. Then I’m jogging, and I realize I don’t need space. I need to escape. I’ve got to keep going and get as far away from Kai as possible.
“Kay, stop,” he calls after me. “I’m not chasing you. This isn’t some movie. Just stop it and get back here.”
I keep going.
CHAPTERFOURTEEN
Kai
For too long, I almost just let her storm off into the forest. I don’t want to go after her. I might end up telling her what I almost did. Not just the truth about what’s going on, but the truth about how I feel, too. The truth of everything she means to me and what it would do to me if something happened to her.
When she doesn’t stop, I break into a jog. It doesn’t take long for me to catch up to her. Taking her arm lightly, I turn her toward me, holding her in place. If she were struggling, I’d be forced to let her go. I’m not going to hold her against her will. When she stares up at me, I almost break at the sight of her tear-streaked cheeks.
“Tell me I’m being a brat again,” she says, rubbing her cheeks aggressively like she’s angry at herself for crying. “IknowI am, but it’s all too much.”
