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“I know it is,” I say softly.
She flinches as if she didn’t expect me to agree with her. I wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly, hoping she can feel how much she means to me, hoping I don’t have to say it. I can never say it. It would mean the end of everything.
Leaning down, I kiss her for the first time since last night. Even when I spanked her full ass, our lips didn’t touch. She presses her hands against my chest, fingernails clawing through my shirt like she’s going to push me away.
Then she moans through the press of our lips, squeezing with her fingernails, digging them into my chest. She pushes herself closer to me, moaning with more passion, more…
There it is again, that desperation. She’s as desperate for me as I am for her. That word has a bad reputation, but I’m desperate like a wild, starving wolf is, hungry for meat to provide for its pack, its family.
“Kissing you can’t feel this good,” she whispers, our faces close.
Her tears are making my cheeks wet, too. She takes my face in her hands and looks me firmly in the eye. I’ve never seen so much fire and passion bursting out of someone. I imagine her looking this way when she tells me she’s pregnant.
We’ve got a little poet on the way.
“Please, Kai. Are we in danger?”
I try to look away, to think of Ryan, but she holds my face in place. I let her. I don’t want to look away from her, ever. She’s the only woman who’s ever come close to having this effect on me. The warped part is she’s right. If she’s in danger, she should know. Then she won’t do things like wander alone in the middle of the night.
“I know you might’ve told Ryan you can’t tell me the truth, but I’m tired of being lied to. I can’t take it anymore. Ryan lied to me about Dad. I want to know I can trust you, and I get it. I’m not some kickass, badass chick or whatever.”
“Assreally is your favorite word.”
She laughs, despite everything, squeezing onto me tighter, with more sense of hunger. She slides her hands around my body, from my chest to back, clawing her fingers across my broad back and clutching firmly.
“You can’t joke your way out of this.”
“Nobody’s funny enough to joke their way out of this one, Kay.”
She sighs and lays her cheek against my chest. I remember what she said about her dad’s pocket watch, the ticking, and I wonder if time’s running out. If the threats will catch up to us, Randall and the ones who sent him.
“You shouldn’t be so hard on your brother,” I say after a pause. “He did what he did for you.”
“He lied about Dad’s illness for me?”
“He didn’t know,” I snap, stepping away.
She takes a step back, too, falling under the shadow of a tree. The entire forest is becoming a shadow now. The stars and the moon are not bright enough yet. The sun is already mostly gone. Her feet crunch on pines as she steps forward again.
“He didn’t… Wait, helied. Not about Dad, but he lied about lying?”
I’m doing everything wrong. It’s not like my other jobs, where I could execute my task coldly. It was so much easier to shut my emotions off before. To mentally bring that angry, quiet kid back into my personality, to let the demons rule me, but with Kay, I can’t. There are too many feelings to lock away.
“He wanted me to be angry with him,” she murmurs a moment later, “because… why? Why would he… Because he wanted me to agree to this trip, right?”
I close my eyes and let out a long breath. Too much is out there for me to back out now. Or is that another excuse to add to the long list?
“He knew you’d never leave on your dad’s anniversary unless you were mad. So yeah, he lied. He lied to protect you. He needed you away from town.Ishould be back there. I should be defending my goddamn brothers, but I’m here with you, keeping you safe.”
She softens, walking closer to me.
“Why does he want me gone, Kai?”
I clench my fist and clench my jaw. It feels like I clench my damn soul. I wrestled with Ryan all those times, dreaming of being a Titan. All those times we rode together, and I still can’t stop.
“The Titans have been having a few skirmishes with a new club, the Bribones, out of Mexico. They’re trying to bring shit into our county. It was manageable, Ryan said, and then things got worse. They’re bringing more men in, more drugs. We’ve got word they’re going to try to take one of our warehouses. That’s why Ryan needed you gone.”
“In case they attacked us,” she whispers.
