AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I know,” I whisper, “but not until he’s completely better, okay?”
Neither of us says the obvious. He might never recover from a bullet wound to the stomach. He might already be dead. We’re hundreds of miles away, and there’s nothing we can do but get home as quickly as possible and hope and pray.
“We need to find an airport,” I tell him.
“No, we can’t fly. If this is as bad as it seems, we need to be mobile. It’s rumored that this other club could have ties to the cartels. We can’t risk being trapped on a plane with a cartel goon with nothing to lose. We have to be mobile.”
“Just in case you have to stop me? Is that it? From being with Ryan?”
He swallows and nods.
“I’m risking a lot by taking you home. Let me do it my way. Or, I swear to God, I’ll stop you, Kay. Even if you hate me for it.”
I could never hate you, I almost reply, but instead, I shrug and walk to the bike.
We’re becoming broken records, both of us, when we mention the need to stay apart. No matter what we do, we end up together, somehow, like two bikes without riders that miraculously follow the same path. We want, need, desire, hunger for, and own the same thing—our future, all the love and joy we will share.
But if Ryan dies, will there be any of that? Will we ever be able to let ourselves feel it? Will we even be able to look at each other if, before Ryan dies, we don’t tell him the truth and give him a chance to hate us?
CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
Kai
I race down the road, trying not to think too often about what Kay and I shared on the prairie. It’s not just the lust or the taste of her body, but what we shared about the future, our desire for a family—all of it.
All I can think about is Ryan. I barely see the landscape or register anything. I can only think of my best friend lying in a hospital bed, unconscious, as the doctors try to stop his blood from poisoning him or his body from failing. He’s connected to machines. That bullet tore through him and gutted almost enough blood to leave a man drained.
His sister clings tightly to me as we ride, with even more urgency than usual. She holds me like she never wants to let go. Maybe it’s because she knows she’ll have to when we reach our destination. We’ll have to pretend nothing happened until we can spring the news on Ryan.
Ryan… Fire rages in me, spitting and hissing and roaring, flames that tell me my only job is to get home and hurt the men who hurt my friend. To hurt them badly, kill the fuckers if necessary. I’m already rehearsing what I’ll do the second I reach home, the orders I’ll give, the places we’ll scout. The fires we’ll set. The bullets we’ll shoot.
On the edge of the state, we stop for a bathroom break. I lean against the bike, scanning the road, a little busier than the nowhere land we were before. Part of me hopes I see Randall or another hitman, somebody I could aim this rage at, apart from myself. That’s who deserves it—me. I should’ve fought these feelings until I could talk to Ryan about them. Now, I may never get the chance.
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
I look up at the sound of Kay’s voice. She’s standing in front of a tall, skinny man, his shoulders jutting through his pale green shirt.
“Just watch where you’re fucking going,” the man snaps.
I don’t see him. I don’t see anything except a sheet of red. Red like the bandages wrapped around my best friend’s gut, red like the dressing barely keeping his insides in place. When the red in my vision clears, I’m standing over the man. He thought he could be tough because he assumed she was alone. He thought he could talk down to a young woman, bully her, and get away with it.
“Is there a problem?” I snarl.
The man stares up at me, slowly shaking his head.
“Move.”
He turns and runs toward the parking lot.
“It’s my fault,” Kay murmurs as we return to the bike. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
“Nobody gets to speak to you like that,” I tell her. “Nobody.”
We share a look that, before, might’ve turned into a kiss, but neither of us is in the mood for that.
It’s early afternoon. We’re losing time. Pulling on our helmets, we climb onto the bike. We ride together. With each passing mile, more and more memories of Ryan come to me. When we were in the gym, Ryan held the pads as I hit them heavily, and after, he asked,“Why are you so angry, Kai?”
Then I told him what happened to me as a kid before the club took me in. He’s the only person I’ve ever told. That connection should mean something, but clearly, it didn’t mean a goddamn thing. It didn’t stop me from spanking his little sister, didn’t stop me from wanting to kiss her, love her, protect her, or betrayhim. I’m a beast, just like they tried to tell me.
