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As I pick up the speed, I shout into the wind. I shout like I think my voice will crack the road down the middle and open a pit. Let me fall in. Let me forget. I want a life with Kay. I hunger for it more than anything, and I meant my choice. I chooseher, but I’ve never imagined my life without Ryan. It hurts. It hurts badly.
I keep riding, not even thinking about where I’m going. Maybe the bottom of a goddamned ditch. That’s where I belong for doing this. It’s the only place that will stop me from doing it again. Kay belongs to me. Nobody, not even her blood or my best friend, can change my mind, but the pain is brutal.
So maybe that’s the only way. I pick up speed, surging down the long, lonely roads of our little piece of America. The wind rushes against my face. I’m not wearing my helmet. On the side of the road, hell, it’s like the phantoms of the old man and Ryan are looking at me. The old man who watched us fight and taught us, and now I’m here wanting his baby girl so badly I know only a bullet could stop me.
Faster, I push the gas, outrunning Ryan, but he appears ahead of me. I’m not losing it. I can’treallysee him. It’s just all this agony inside, twisting me up. I blink, and he’s still there, but he’s a teenager now. He’s got that cocky smirk on his face. People said we could’ve been brothers. We had the same smile.
“I knew you’d betray me, Kai. I knew you’d grow up to be a bad guy.”
I push even harder, wishing there were more Bribones in the town so I could let out some of the rage. I’d take more than kneecaps this time. I’d take the pain out on them. Maybe I should keep going. Push past one-twenty, one-forty. Keep on and on until I hit something, and that cocky smirk gets wiped off my face.
Then another phantom appears. This is a feeling, not a vision, not madness. It’s the sensation of my woman’s arms wrapped around my waist, just like she has been the whole trip. I imagine her pushing herself against me. I remember each sweet moment we’ve ever shared, from the banter at the gas station to that golden field in Nebraska. With Kay in my thoughts, I slow down and bring the bike to a stop at the side of the road.
I’m panting hard, and there are tears in my eyes.
CHAPTERTWENTY-THREE
Ryan
“You’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today,” I say, looking across the main function room of the clubhouse. All the top-level men are here. Jimmy stands off to the side, leaning against the wall, watching me closely.Gathered here today…It sounds like a wedding already.
“Maybe you’ve heard the rumors,” I go on, “or maybe you haven’t, but I’ll set the record straight regardless. It’s true. Kai is with my sister, Kayla.”
I wait for that news to settle in. Dad always used to talk about never rushing ahead too fast as a leader. Before he passed, he gave me a lot of lessons, enough to set me up with what I’d need to lead this club into the future. The whole time he was dying, he kept it to himself. Man, life’s a bitch.
“We all know I could take this news very poorly,” I go on. “The only high-level Titan who isn’t here is Kai. He has plans with Kayla and doesn’t need to be here for this. I can make the message clear without him. Blood has been spilled over less. The most fucked-up shit imaginable has been done to people when it comes to family and…”
Love, I almost say, but this room is filled with hard men. It’s better to keep the talk practical. “Relationships,” I go on. “But you all need to understand something. Without Kai…” I wince as my wounds try to make me sit down, but I won’t let them. Pain meds pump through me. “Many of us wouldn’t be here today. We all know Kai’s got a dog in him. We all know that, without him, those bastards might’ve taken more of us. Don’t get me wrong, fellas, we would’ve won either way…”
Some of them nod at this. Personally, I’m not sure it’s true. They might’ve overwhelmed us if Kai hadn’t come home and led the final charge against the Bribones,
“But Kai ended things quickly,” I growl. “He’s a good man. He’s like a brother to me.”
Jimmy picks this up right on cue. Dad taught me something else.“A good leader doesn’t gather his men unless he’s almost certain how the meeting will go.”
“Doesn’t that make it worse?” Jimmy says, like we planned. “He’s your righthand man, and he went behind your back.”
“But he didn’t go behind my back,” I growl. It’s a lie, but it’s necessary. “Before anything happened between him and Kayla, Kai did the right thing and asked for my blessing. He offered up his own life. He said to put a bullet in his head if I felt he’d betrayed me.”
Respect gleams in the men’s eyes. Part of me wonders if Kai should’ve done this and asked me upfront, but I know more about their relationship now. It was sudden and intense. The need was immediate. Kai told me it was like being struck by lightning. He tried to fight it, but he couldn’t. He told me he loves her way too much for that. It’s genuinelove,and Kayla feels the same.
I wish I could tell the men simply this:“I’ve never seen either of them happier. I’ve never seen Kai smile in such a carefree way, even when we were kids.”
“Maybe some of you, especially those with sisters, think I should’ve taken him up on his offer,” I go on, “but this is Kai. He’s saved all of our asses more times than we can count. He’s a good man. He’s loyal, and he made something clear. He intends to marry Kayla and make an honest woman of her, and Kayla feels the same.That…”
I slam my hand on the table, ignoring the agony it sends twisting through me.
“Means that, one day soon, Kai and I are going to be family. He’s going to be my brother-in-law. This makes the club stronger, fellas, not weaker. Kai is a good man who will do his best by Kayla. I’ve given him my blessing. When they return…” I don’t mention where they’re going, but I have to say the purpose. “It’s very likely they’ll be engaged to be married. If any of you have a problem with this, I want to hear it now.”
I take a step forward, looking over at the men. Thankfully, none of them seem like they’re going to cause a problem. In fact, a few of them are smiling.
“Nobody?” I say. “Because, injured or not, I’m still ready to draw a circle about this.”
That gets a few laughs from the more experienced members. It’s a callback to the days when my old man ran the club. If two members had a problem, they’d draw a circle with chalk and swing knuckles until one of them quit and left the circle. It’s been years since anything like that went down.
When it’s clear nobody will cause problems, I gesture to the door. “All right, good. Get back to work.”
I wait until everybody but Jimmy is gone and sit at the table, letting out a long, shaky breath.
