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I fucked up. And now I had to fix it. She looked up at me, her innocent eyes searching for answers. I could sense her curiosity and perhaps a hint of anxiety brewing within her.
“I’m not going to leave, but I don’t want you to think your dad and I are going to be together,” I said. “We’re don’t know each other all that well.”
That was a pretty silly thing to say given what we did to each other’s bodies the night before. If Lily were a few years older, I knew she’d be calling me out for being a hypocrite and she would have every right to do so.
A flicker of disappointment passed across Lily’s face, quickly followed by a surge of sadness. Her small frame trembled, and tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill over. “But why?” she whimpered, her voice laced with a tinge of heartbreak. “Are you going to leave, too?”
My heart shattered into a thousand pieces as I witnessed her distress. I reached out to gently cradle her tiny hands within my own, offering a sense of comfort and stability. “No, sweetheart, I’m not going to leave,” I reassured her, my voice filled with sincerity and love. “I care about you deeply, and I want to be here for you, always.”
Her eyes searched mine, seeking reassurance. In that moment, I knew I had to choose my words carefully, to paint a picture of unwavering commitment. “I want you to understand that people come into our lives for different reasons,” I explained, my voice soft but resolute. “My role as your nanny is to care for you, to support you, and to make sure you feel safe and loved.”
Lily’s tears continued to fall, and my heart ached for her. I held her hand tighter, hoping to convey a sense of stability.
“I know you’re going to leave,” she said.
She pushed away from me and hopped off the chair. She jerked open the bedroom door and rushed out. Ramsey happened to be standing in the hallway. The look he gave me turned my guts to stone. He was pissed. I knew how protective he was of his daughter.
ChapterTwenty-One
Ramsey
My heart raced with a mix of anger and confusion as I watched my daughter retreat to her room, her eyes brimming with tears. She slammed the door behind her. I turned to face Dee, my voice quivering with frustration. If Lily wasn’t happy, I wasn’t happy.
“What did you say to her?” I demanded, my tone laced with accusation.
“I told her the truth,” Dee said. “I wasn’t going to lie to her and make promises I couldn’t keep.”
“She’s upset, and she thinks you’re rejecting her,” I barked. “She’s nine, she doesn’t need to know all the truths adults hold!”
Dee’s eyes met mine, a blend of regret and empathy shining through. She took a step closer, her voice filled with a mix of sorrow and determination. “I didn’t mean to hurt her, Ramsey,” Dee explained, her voice tinged with remorse. “I thought it was important for her to know that we’re not rushing into things. She deserves honesty, even if it’s difficult.”
Anger surged within me, battling with what I felt for Dee and the love I had for Lily. I wanted to protect my daughter from the pain of being abandoned again. “It’s not up to you to decide what kind of honesty Lily hears.”
Dee shot me a dirty look. “I don’t want her to get her hopes up for something that might not happen.”
“That’s not up to you!” My anger was rising by the second. “You had no right to hurt her.”
“I’m trying toavoidhurting her,” she said.
“By hurting her now?” I scoffed, throwing my hands up in the air. “You’re not making any sense, Dee.”
She walked away, grabbing her shoes and flopping onto the bed.
“Oh good, you’re running away,” I said. “Way to prove my point.”
“Stop trying to put this on your daughter,” she shot back. “You’re the one who’s scared.”
“Scared?” I scoffed. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You’re projecting your feelings onto her. You’re the one who’s afraid I’m going to leave. You’re just a hurt little boy who can’t admit you’re scared of getting walked out on again!”
She walked out of the room and started jogging downstairs. I followed behind her. She wasn’t going to get away from me that easily. We had some things to discuss. “I’m not scared of shit,” I shot back. “I’m not the one running. I knew there was a good chance you would do this. I should have trusted my gut with you.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You’ve been lying to me since your very first words to me,” I hissed.
She stopped walking. “What?”
