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I turned at her soft goodbye, my ears straining for when she broke free from my spell and walked inside. And there it was. I had to stifle a laugh because my plan was taking root.
Following the sense of satisfaction, a wave of remorse blindsided me. Luke’s death was never far from my thoughts. While the kid had been a problem, he didn’t deserve to die. I cringed as I saw it all over again—the solid connection of my fist to his jaw, the way his eyes rolled back into his head, how his body had melted and the thud of his head against that damn concrete step, his neck at an awkward angle, and the pool of blood and yellow spinal fluid seeping onto the concrete.
Those few seconds haunted my dreams and invaded my thoughts with soul-crushing frequency. Planning and plotting against Winter helped keep me from drowning, serving as a reprieve from the guilt of ending Luke’s life.
I adjusted my baseball hat low over my forehead. I couldn’t do much to disguise who I was, not with my height and build, but I tried to be inconspicuous. Some people stared as I passed, which I knew was because of what had been printed about Luke and me in the papers. Though I loathed reading them, I had to in case I got linked to the underground fights. With each passing day, a tiny amount of tension about that coming to light and my future going to hell worse than it already had eased the continuous pressure around my lungs.
Coach hadn’t kicked me off the team since it was ruled as self-defense and the police had dropped the charges. It wasn’t what Luke’s family wanted, but the ruling should stand unless they brought more evidence—like the underground fights. Or that was what my uncle had said, and Grandad’s lawyer had agreed.
Between that and the constant reminder of how Winter had treated me, I wasn’t getting much sleep. I unlocked my SUV, got in, and prepared to deal with the next giant fucking hurdle—meeting Joe at Dillon’s. The paperwork from the bank Grandad used sat on the passenger seat, mocking me. I had to convince Joe the loan was the best course of action. Then maybe I could begin to heal the rift between him and my family.
It wasn’t quite dinnertime, which made parking easier. I found a spot, grabbed the paperwork, and headed into the diner. The bell jingled loudly over the door, and I slid into an empty booth to wait for Joe. A glance at the time showed he was late. The waitress brought water, but I told her I would wait to order.
I wasn’t sure how the meeting would go. He’d been pushing hard for his business idea, and I wasn’t sure he would be open to doing things differently. Plus, I liked my SUV, and I didn’t want to sell it, especially since Grandad had demanded to hold the title, claiming that my brother and I weren’t responsible enough when Uncle Lucas had given me the vehicle. It was also the only way he would allow my uncle to do anything, like buy us the SUVs. Grandad had too much bad blood with my uncle, who was related through marriage to my late aunt.
While waiting, I messaged Phoenix to see how Aspen was doing. It was still so weird that my brother was married and had a kid on the way. Good thing I liked Aspen—now. I hadn’t in the past, but we were mostly over that. There had been too many changes. My brother was shooting for an early draft into the NFL in his third year of college. I got it, but that wasn’t my path. I wanted to focus on my degree. I would miss the hell out of him because he would definitely get picked up in the first round. He was that good. I was, too, but Phoenix was fucking phenomenal.
The door opened, and I glanced in its direction as Joe walked in, spotted me, and headed over. His hair was freshly buzzed, and while he was still built like an athlete at forty, his face looked haggard and put him closer to his midfifties. Phoenix and I hadn’t liked how he’d aged, as it might not bode well for us. Mom looked young, though, and I’d teased Phoenix that since I took after her in looks—just hair and eye color—I wouldn’t look like an old man at forty but he would. Joe slid into the booth, and I pushed aside my thoughts about teasing my brother.
“Do you have the check?”
Hello to you too.“No, but I brought these.” I slid the loan papers over to him.
Joe leaned back, his eyes taking on a hard glint. “That’s disappointing. I would have thought you would put your heart into this. We could be Wrenshall & Sons Construction, a family legacy.” He shook his head.
Tension shot through my body, but I kept my face blank, refusing to broadcast that his misguided assessment got to me. “Maybe if you would look at the papers I brought, we could discuss going a different direction.” He held my gaze and didn’t look down. “It’s an application for a small business loan.”
“I can’t go the bank route due to my credit history.” He leaned forward, his forearms braced on the table. “I should’ve realized that you wouldn’t know anything about a hard day’s work after being raised by your mother and grandfather. Your grandfather made it clear that he would provide everything for you both, but what he did was a disservice. Now, you boys don’t know how to sacrifice.”
I clenched my jaw so hard I wouldn’t be surprised if a few molars cracked. Mouth pressed in a line, I said nothing. I’d embarrassed him; I could see that. It wasn’t that I was opposed to the business he’d proposed. It would complement Grandad’s property management company, and I bet I could establish a profitable arrangement between the two companies. But the money and my time were a problem. As were his impatience and defensiveness.
Joe waited for another beat then stood. “Call me when you’re serious about starting the business and you have a check in hand. This could be a great thing for our family. Healing even.” Then he walked out of the diner.
My hands curled into fists on top of my thighs. That was manipulation at its best, and I was the sucker who would cave to it. I swiped the papers from the table and hauled myself out of the booth. I hated the position he had just put me in. And I fucking loved my car but not more than my family. Grandad was a headache, but he loved us in his own screwed-up way. At least with him, I knew he would always have our backs, even if he went about things in the wrong way.
But when it came to Joe, no matter how much I knew I should go to Grandad, I couldn’t. He hated Joe a hundred times more than the misconstrued perception of Uncle Lucas’s influence over our aunt’s decisions and the tragic end of her life. That meant Uncle Lucas had some redeeming qualities in Grandad’s eyes, and Joe did not.
Before I did anything, I went to see my brother. Phoenix opened the door to his and Aspen’s apartment. I looked around at how comfortable they’d made it and felt gutted again that I hadn’t been there to help them move in because I was bodyguarding Erica.
It wasn’t big, but they’d done a lot with it. Aspen’s hand-painted surfboards were mounted along one wall. A comfortable couch sat facing the TV. The room opened to the tiny kitchen with a peninsula where they could eat. They had two small bedrooms and a bathroom. Aspen spent a lot of time painting her surfboards on their patio just through the kitchen.
“Where’s Aspen?”
“Drawing with Max. She’ll be back soon.” Phoenix shut the door behind me. “Thanks for coming by.”
“You’re being weird. Since when do you have to thank me for coming over? You’re my brother.”
His mouth pressed in a straight line, hitting me like a punch to the gut. He had a point. I hadn’t been there for him recently. So much shit had gone on in my head after the breakup with Tracey, which I’d blamed him for. It was his fault, but it would have happened eventually. I knew I needed to cut her loose. I just hadn’t wanted to. She’d gotten me over a big hurdle, and I’d finally gained some much-needed confidence. Because of that, I cut her some slack.
Mentally, I was a mess—even more so because Joe had made contact and I’d kept it from my brother.
“I need to talk to you about Joe,” Phoenix said.
I sat on one of the stools at the peninsula and got comfortable. It wasn’t going to go well. I could already tell from the muscle that jumped along Phoenix’s jaw and his closed-off vibe. “Okay. Shoot.”
“You know I hate Joe. He’s never had a relationship with us, and even if you’re willing to, I’m not going to entertain one with him.”
My brother resembled Joe in many ways, but just in looks. Phoenix had qualities that Joe could not attain because he’d already violated them: trust and loyalty. They were the most important in family. I could always count on my brother. And he had a right to feel the way he did about Joe, regardless of what I knew or how Joe was trying to make things right with me.
