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“I thought the same… At first.” He slants his eyes my way. “But now I’ve witnessed how much you care for her… I believe I was wrong.”
I have no response. I don’t know if you can love someone enough to make what is inherently badgood enoughfor someone who is inherently good. I think it’s a leap too far to traverse. I may be named after Gabriel the avenging angel, but I am no saint. My mortal form is deficient. I was made for one thing and one thing only. To fight. It’s what I know. It’s what courses through my veins. It’s what keeps my tin can in my chest silent.
I know how to survive.
I know how to fight.
I know how to fuck.
I don’t know how to love an angel.
Rowdy and I step into Frankie’s room and pause at the sight of Austin crying at her bedside. He nearly looks like the guy I was best friends with for five years…nearly. The version before me, though, he’s caused my Angel a lot of pain. Pain he could have avoided if he had the balls to leave herbeforehe started cheating. Before he decided he no longer saw forever in her eyes.
“What are you doing?” I give him a wide berth, moving to the other side of her bed, unsure if I’ll listen to what he has to say or kill him straight out.
He sniffs and rubs the disgrace from his face. I’ve got nothing against a man crying. I’ve felt like it a few times in my life, and if you pressed me, I’d admit I shed more than a few tears the first night I sat by her side watching her sleep and praying for God’s mercy. Not for me. For her.
“I had to see her.” His red-rimmed eyes stare at me like I have the answers he seeks.
Sorry, man. I can’t give you absolution.
“I don’t think she’d want you here. Especially while she’s defenseless.” Rowdy stands at the end of the bed, arms crossed. His stance is wide, looking like he’d rather piss on Austin than share the same air.
I can relate. And I like Rowdy all the more for it.
“Who the fuck are you to tell me that? You’ve known her for, like, two seconds.” Austin stands. His balls make an appearance. It’s good to know he hasn’t turned into a complete pansy-ass.
Rowdy raises a brow, his mouth tight as his gaze slides to me and back to Austin. “I know the two of you have caused her more pain than she deserves.”
I’m not pissed or taken aback by his words. He’s not saying anything I haven’t already said to myself.
Rowdy points at me but speaks to Austin. “But he wasn’t the one making her cry two days ago. He didn’t have her running down the hall in near hysterics.” He leans over the bed getting closer to Austin, rage rippling off him like steam. “And he sure as fuck didn’t cheat on her for years, making her feel like she didn’t deserve better than a piece of shit like you.”
In seconds Austin is in Rowdy’s face, going toe to toe. Their nostrils are flared, hands fisted at their sides.
“Enough.” I pull them apart, one hand braced against Rowdy’s chest as I push Austin in the other direction. “I understand you want to be here. You want to know how she is. But you gave up that right the minute you left her bleeding and unconscious months ago. You fucked up, brother. But it started years ago. You’ve moved on. You’ve made your choice.” I back him to the door. “Man the fuck up, and let her go so she can move on.”
“I need to know she’s okay.” His anger is gone. He knows he fucked up in ways they may never come back from.
“She will be. But she doesn’t need the reminder of your failed relationship by waking up to your face. Don’t make her suffer to make yourself feel better. Cap will let you know when she wakes up. Then she can decide for herself if she wants to see you.”
In the hall he turns, his hand over his mouth as his eyes fill with tears. “She was my everything for so long.” He fights to keep his emotions in check. “I can’t imagine a future without her in it—in some way.” The crack in his voice, I feel deep in my bones.
His words ring too true for me. “You crushed her dreams, Austin, in a really shitty way. You have to give her time to discover new ones. If it includes you or not—it’s up to her. Not you. You made your choice. Now you need to let her make hers.”
He moves down the hall like a man who left more behind than he bargained for. Like the best of his life is behind him—lying in a hospital bed—better than anything that could possibly lie ahead.
I know as soon as my Angel wakes up, the man I see walking down the hall could be me. I just might be mirroring his steps, his regrets, his fear that there will never be anything better than Frankie in his life.
The only difference? I know for a fact, there is nothing better than Frankie.
I walk into her room and nearly crumple at the sight of my Angel’s eyes open and her sights on me.
“Angel.”
“Gabriel.”
THE SIGHT OF GABRIEL AT THEdoor of my hospital room brings me back to the last time he stepped into my ER room after Austin dislocated my shoulder. It’s not the pain I remember, it’s the look on Gabriel’s face, the desolation, the compassion, the air of protectiveness that washes over me. He’s devastatingly handsome in a way that makes my heart ache and brings tears to my eyes. I’ve missed his face.
